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Help me stop looking at my exes social media!

(21 Posts)
pinkandwhite26 Sat 03-Jun-17 19:24:17

After a recent thread on here I'm trying to cut contact with my ex. This includes social media.

But I need some practical help with not looking. I'm pretty sure he's with another girl this weekend and I know who she is and I desperately want to see on Instagram and twitter if she is with him but I know rationally it will hurt.

So how do I not look?!

FreeSpiritJen Sat 03-Jun-17 19:25:44

Can't suggest anything other than BLOCK him.

Sorry you are hurting sweetie. flowers

pinkandwhite26 Sat 03-Jun-17 19:27:46

He is blocked but I have no willpower and I just unblock. I even deleted the apps from my phone but I just reinstall them... I appreciate I sound a bit crazy.

We broke up over a year ago!! It's ridiculous I'm still feeling like this.

caffeinestream Sat 03-Jun-17 19:27:50

Block, block, block!

It will get easier, I promise flowers

pinkandwhite26 Sat 03-Jun-17 19:28:22

Instagram is the main issue; you can block/unblock straight away. His fb is thankfully completely private.

Maudlinmaud Sat 03-Jun-17 19:29:06

See that pain you are feeling you will continue to go round in circles and feel it again and again. It's an empty pain. You don't need to feel it. Recognise this and realise you have had enough.

AnthonyPandy Sat 03-Jun-17 19:29:51

Can you get a friend to change your password for you? Would that work? I'm not sure how Instagram works, sorry.

pinkandwhite26 Sat 03-Jun-17 19:31:00

It would but they might think I'm a bit weird. I know it's stupid to look and I'm trying to scare myself into looking because I might see something I don't want to...

abbsisspartacus Sat 03-Jun-17 19:31:18

You have to go cold turkey I've had to do this I set up a different Facebook just so I wouldn't have to block/unblock all the time so I closed that account and thrown away the password I feel better for it

TheNaze73 Sat 03-Jun-17 19:38:12

The fact he's having sex iscwith someone else should be all the motivation you need

Chloe84 Sat 03-Jun-17 20:03:54

I just discovered 'limerence' - obsessive infatuation.

Have a read of this MN thread

An eye opener.

pinkandwhite26 Sat 03-Jun-17 20:06:42

I know all the stuff... I need practical help putting it into practice. I'm in such a state practically every weekend worrying about who he's with and what he's doing.

AnthonyPandy Sat 03-Jun-17 20:13:57

Ok so if a password change would work, change it to something really random like ra6e1o0bu86 that you won't ever remember, write it down then give it in a sealed envelope to someone, or a safety deposit box or whatever. Do this for yourself, don't worry what it looks like.

Chloe84 Sat 03-Jun-17 20:14:24

It's willpower, I'm afraid.

Justbreaking Sat 03-Jun-17 20:36:12

Having the same issue. My friend said that when I get the urge to look/unblock then set the phone down and give it half an hour. Reason with yourself that it'll all still be there in half an hour which it will. Then go and distract yourself. A book, film, bath... Go for a walk, play with the DC, anything. It's starting to work for me. flowers

Coffeegrain Sat 03-Jun-17 20:50:46

Pinkandwhite.. i sympathise. I too have done this like I'm sure a lot of people do. Although you know it's unhealthy it's almost like an urge/ obsession.
You know he iscwith someone else and you need to work on letting go and improving your own life. If you look so be it. If you see them, yes it will hurt but at least it will seem more real? You'll eventually not bother but it takes time flowers

Earlybird Sat 03-Jun-17 20:59:59

The temptation is great, so you have my sympathies.
.
Strangely what helped me was promising myself not to look/search once a got a new mobile and a new computer. Those new devices had no 'memory' of him in the search history, and thus his name didn't pop up when I typed in anything vaguely similar. For whatever reason, that helped my willpower.

Pyaar Sat 03-Jun-17 21:29:12

I can totally relate to this. The uninstalling and installing..the blocking and unblocking. I went absolutely crazy when someone I thought i was very close to ghosted me and sent soo many messages sad

Like the pp who said about getting a new phone/computer it helped me to have a sort of "cut off" point...(not sure what you could try though??). Just as my cut off point approached i was feeling really positive, then he messaged me out of the blue "will be in touch in a few days"..which obv threw me off..but he never bloody was in touch! So im back at square one with obsessing.

Definitely try and trust someone with insta password. Good luck!

Vinegartits4 Sat 03-Jun-17 21:44:00

You can view an Instagram account without having to be logged in, ie typing the username into the insta webpage so the above suggestions might not help.

Take it one day at a time not looking and torturing yourself and slowly you won't want to look anymore. Good luck.

abbsisspartacus Sun 04-Jun-17 07:03:03

I found doing something else with your hands helpful when you get the urge

Oldgranny Sun 04-Jun-17 07:10:16

Oh it's so easy to give advice, so hard to take, but you're asking so deep down you know your picking an old wound. Try to break it down till you no longer care so mucflowers

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