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ex do girlfriend is a mess

(7 Posts)
pumpkinpie5 Wed 31-May-17 20:43:43

I think I am probably being unreasonable. I ha e been out of an a using relationship for 4yrs now. He left me for ow when our daughter was young. Have dropped her off tonight and he's told me they are having a baby. They had an abortion 4 months ago because they felt it wasn't the right time. I am in bits. I don't know why. To top this he has told my daughter without discussing it with me. I am upset and angry. I wanted more children but had a miscarriage shortly before he left. I guess I am feeling upset and feel that life is unfair (childish) and there is no such thing as karma. I do everything for dd and work a full time job. He fits her in when he can and gets to have another child. I'm being unreasonable feeling like this aren't I?

pumpkinpie5 Wed 31-May-17 20:44:17

That sound say abusive. Sorry. I'm a mess tonight.

Blisss Wed 31-May-17 20:49:35

YANBU at the end of the day you're only human and it always hurts when stuff like this happens even if you're not together. You have a child together and it's a bit of a shock to the system knowing he's having another with another woman.

But having said that you need to bare in mind he was abusive and that for that reason you're best of out of it.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Wed 31-May-17 20:54:19

You need to take a step back from the goings on in their lives. .
I get you have a dd together but why would they tell you she had an abortion?
Tell them you don't need to know everything - just the essentials regarding parenting your dd.

pumpkinpie5 Wed 31-May-17 21:38:19

Yes I agree. If it's not him telling me then I will hear it from dd. I am trying to only have contact re dd and even got a solicitor o board to do this but he doesn't listen and I just hurt so much. Sorry too much wine

pumpkinpie5 Wed 31-May-17 21:39:31

He wanted a shoulder to cry on re the abortion and I said it's not my business. Nothing has changed re the reasons for abortion but they are going ahead this time.

HeavenlyEyes Wed 31-May-17 22:39:58

he was abusive yet you are still his confidante? I think you need to not have anything to do with him at all. Handover of child and anything that needs saying will be in relation to your dc. His new life is no longer your concern. And if he is an abuser I would pity his current partner and new child.

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