Split imminent hand hold please

[Queenofthedrivensnow]

I need to separate from my dp of two years. The last few months have been very strained and we have discussed splitting a few times.

Part of me thinks if I threw myself at it things could get better but I'm struggling to move past his behaviour. He has told me; I'm shit at my job, a poor mother, the abuse from exh is made up (involved a non mol). Disagreements cannot be resolved without a full character assassination of me. I pretty much stand there and take it. Actually he behaves a bit like exh in a few ways. He's very immature with anything high emotion.

I'm very worried how my dc will cope with this split though I have told them today that dp may be moving out. Dd2 was quite sad but snapped out of it soon enough.

I'm gutted. I tried.

[RebornSlippy]

You don't need a hand hold. This is all good. Follow your DD's lead on it. Onwards.

[Queenofthedrivensnow]

We are away at the moment so it's all abstract to the kids. It's not real yet.

[OriginalArchitect]

Stop trying and start walking, or at least packing his bags. He sounds awful and it sounds like you will all be better off without his negative influence in your lives.

[hellsbellsmelons]

Get him gone.
He's abusive.
Instead of grade 10 one you got a grade 8 one!
Not acceptable at all.

If you didn't get any support after your last relationship please reach out now.
Have a chat with Womens Aid.
Ask about their Freedom Programme.
It will really help you with Self-esteem, boundaries, spotting red flags and keeping me like this away from you and your DC from now on!

[Queenofthedrivensnow]

I did the freedom programme in 13. I had a support worker from a dv charity for 2 years.ita not the whole picture he's great with the kids and they have never seen us argue.
I have had the grade 10/8 thing in the back of my mind though. Just need to work through all this in my mind

[Queenofthedrivensnow]

Any more wisdom?