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Can't cope anymore

(13 Posts)
Naturebabe Wed 31-May-17 12:50:04

Dp and I have been together 10 years. 2 very young DCs.
Dp is completely disengaged from the relationship. To the extent that he hardly contributes financially... I pay all food and go to the supermarkets (which he eats), mortgage, council tax.... he has never bought a stitch for the kids. He often disappears for whole days to work on his hobby. He sleeps in as long as he wants, whereas the kids wake me between 5 and 7.30 every morning. I also work and also he does zero housework - in facts adds to it by being dirty and not tidying up. He never appreciates anything I do, any meals I cook or anything I do to support the family.

I have pains in my chest from working and struggling so hard without any practical and emotional support.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Wed 31-May-17 12:53:30

He isn't a 'partner in any sense never mind' dear ' .
Plan ahead as a single parent. .
You effectively are anyway - he brings nothing to your relationship and doesn't seem like a decent df either. .

isitjustme2017 Wed 31-May-17 12:53:41

I assume he doesn't work then? So you pay for everything and you do everything? What do you need him for then? GET RID.
Sorry to be blunt OP but he sounds like a leech and waste of space. I think you need to either give him an ultimatum to shape up or ship out, or just get rid of him.

Naturebabe Wed 31-May-17 12:56:48

I think I need to get rid. I just feel very sad about it.... I never planned it like this for my kids. I have been offered a job about 70 miles away, I think I'm going to have to move away, and loose the family home (which is half his)...... and ds gonna have to start a new school

Naturebabe Wed 31-May-17 12:58:22

he does the odd bit of work here and there but keeps all the money for himself (except for electricity and phone bill and tv licence which he pays)

seasidesally Wed 31-May-17 13:00:00

why have you even stayed with him all this time

it sounds miserable at best

take the job and the new better life it will bring

Naturebabe Wed 31-May-17 13:18:54

I guess I have hoped that things would improve.

Naturebabe Wed 31-May-17 13:36:25

And the worst thing is despite how very little he does, he deems it necessary to take daily naps!

isitjustme2017 Wed 31-May-17 15:00:15

Oh my god, please read back all that you have posted on here. If one of your friends was with a man like this, what would you say to them?
He is dragging you down and you deserve more than this (and so do your children).
I'm sure you don't want your children thinking this is normal behaviour!

Naturebabe Wed 31-May-17 16:22:50

is it totally bad isitjustme2017? I just dunno what's 'normal' any more...

isitjustme2017 Wed 31-May-17 16:58:55

No this is not normal at all. Come on, wake up and smell the coffee.
If he doesn't work much, does he look after the children when you're at work then? I think I know the answer.
Start putting things in place. Will you need to sell your home? I'm guessing he won't be able to afford to move out so you will have to find a way to get him out of your life.
He sounds like another one of your children you are having to look after. Awful man.

WingsofNylon Wed 31-May-17 19:47:45

Not normal at all. Please take that job and start a lovely new life without this deadweight drowning you. You and Dr deserve far better.

Quartz2208 Wed 31-May-17 19:48:48

Sell the home and move on

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