Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Feeling sexualised

(15 Posts)
Shibbykez Wed 31-May-17 12:23:57

Sexualised... is that the right word? Not sure, but here's the deal been with my bf for almost a year & a half. Had some bumps in the relationship as he's very insecure & turned it all on me. He has started improving & working on easing up & giving me space but we are on different pages sexually. He wants to all the time & I don't as much. And he always goes on about it. I can't say or ask anything without there being a sexual reference. Going into town & asking if I needs anything while I'm there turns into a oh yeah baby I'll tell you what I need & it's ALL THE TIME. He also checks in everyday to see what my moods like. If I'm in a yes sex mood or no sex mood. So by midday I'm trying to decide what kind of mood I'll be in later on when I see him. He also really like constant touchy feelyness. And I'm pretty affectionate but he's over the top. I have talked to him about it a lot. It'll get better for a bit & then gets worse again it most times I end up feeling like the bad guy. Cause he'll get super sarcastic & say stuff like... yeah ofcourse I'm only here for your body & it's so terrible that your 2nd wants you so bad. Feel like I'm loosing it

Shayelle Wed 31-May-17 12:24:47

LTB

category12 Wed 31-May-17 12:26:29

You're clearly incompatible and it's difficult to tell whether he's just got a massive libido or he's a sex-pest, but either way, I would stop seeing him.

IAmTheWorwax Wed 31-May-17 12:28:53

I've been there op, it's suffocating. I didn't realise how much until I left.

I doubt he'll change so I guess now is the time to decide if you can live the rest of your life feeling under pressure to be sex ready every single day v

Peanutbuttercheese Wed 31-May-17 12:32:28

Get rid of him he sounds like an absolute sex pest and also incredibly juvenile.

Adora10 Wed 31-May-17 12:32:30

I couldn't stand that, he seems to see you as a sex object and nothing else, fuck checking your moods to suit his insatiable appetite, it's not normal.

XxStefxX Wed 31-May-17 12:36:08

Doesn't sound like a relationship sorry op, just sounds hard work. I would say your not compatible x

TheNaze73 Wed 31-May-17 13:24:54

You are both very different so end it. You'll both be happier

Shibbykez Wed 31-May-17 13:33:47

Thanks for all your messages. It's definately at breaking point here. Feel a bit at ease about it all. I have a constant internal battle with myself a lot of the time that maybe this is ok behaviour and then get annoyed with myself for thinking it, lol

justkeeponsmiling Wed 31-May-17 13:45:01

Nothing is more ofc-putting than a sex pest in a relationship. The constant pressure to have sex has in the past killed off any desire for me. It's a very selfish thing to do, but I find that sex pest men are very good at pretending they are being "loving" and that it is simply a sing of their affection. It is not! This behaviour is simply an attempt for them to gratify their constant need to get you into bed. It is selfish.
If you have already addressed this with him several times and he is not listening then you are clearly not compatible and you will end up dreading being around him, if you don't already.

Shoxfordian Wed 31-May-17 14:56:49

Yeah that's not OK behaviour
Break up with him and maybe look into some assertiveness courses for you so you feel strong enough to trust your instincts in future

BuckinghamLass Wed 31-May-17 16:10:00

Definitely not OK behaviour. It doesn't sound like there's much (if any) respect for your wants and needs.

Atenco Wed 31-May-17 16:40:45

He sounds boring as fuck

christmaswreaths Wed 31-May-17 18:54:38

Oh no.i could not tolerate it..

AnyFucker Wed 31-May-17 18:58:33

What a very dull person he sounds and thick as mince too

I don't know how you managed to be around him.

You have been objectified, not sexualised. One track minds are deeply unappealing.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now