Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Lack of friends in my life...

(22 Posts)
GaynorGoodwin Tue 30-May-17 21:51:23

I work 30 hours a week, look after the family, etc., but have very little in the way of friends (let alone a BFF). I have work colleagues who I very occasionally go out for the odd drink, but on a weekend am with either hubby, the kiddo or the dog!

I often find myself listening to colleagues at work who have 'been to a friends barbecue', 'out with the girls on Sat night' or simply 'shopping with their best mate'.

I'm feeling left out and a bit boring...anyone else in the same situation?

chaplin1409 Tue 30-May-17 21:54:57

I feel I am in the same position apart from I don't go out to work so don't even have colleagues. I was collecting my eldest from an event the othe day and the leader said it won't be long and I will be able to have weekends away with my friends and not worry about the kids. The kids said mummy does not have any friends. It really hit home then.

GaynorGoodwin Tue 30-May-17 22:05:48

Also I'm on a group on what's app and one of the girls at work is forever posting pics of her and a group of mates that meet up monthly, spa day, etc. The only thing I've ever posted was a pic of my dog!

LittleMissCrappy Tue 30-May-17 22:10:30

Similar here, I have very few friends but I think it's my fault really, it takes me a very long time to trust people so I think I am a bit too distant to make friends. I have one good friend, we go for a coffee once in a while. And I chat with other people, neighbours, mums at drop offs. But I really struggle to get close to people. Even my longest friend doesn't know much about me. She doesn't know that I am divorced and remaried, for example. She doesn't know that I was physically and mentally abused by my ex.

PlayOnWurtz Tue 30-May-17 22:12:43

In exactly the same situation. Only my husband takes himself out and sees people but never does anything with me. It hurts.

EezerGoode Tue 30-May-17 22:13:25

We should start a friends thread ...others to chat to x

GaynorGoodwin Tue 30-May-17 22:14:59

I think I'm probably the same and can appear distant. I've tried to be a bit more 'out there' but I know I can be a bit shy in pushing myself forward. As a couple we don't actually go out with other couples either which others seem to do.

GaynorGoodwin Tue 30-May-17 22:16:20

My hubbys job has a social element so when he's home he's not fussed about going out (not that we've got friends to go out with anyway).

hashtagcurious Tue 30-May-17 22:19:17

Omg GaynorGoodwin are you me? Haha. Wow we couldn't be more similar! Xx

GaynorGoodwin Tue 30-May-17 22:22:32

@Hashtagcurious; it's somewhat a relief to know I'm not the only one!

Bacere Tue 30-May-17 22:23:32

Chats on this subject always help me feel a little better, you know, knowing I'm not the only one. I need to be reminded now and again.

cleanlaundry Tue 30-May-17 23:14:02

Ditto. Sounds bad but I can't manage a large group of girl friends. If I had some spare time I think I would rather spend it with DD, my parents or DH. I'm happy that way. With lots of friends there's always a weekly meet up round someone's house for tea or someone's birthday or they would want to go out for dinner - can't be arsed. That sounds very horrid grin

I do envy those with a BFF. I don't really have anyone to gossip with on that level, but again I can't really open up to new people that easily

finnthepink Tue 30-May-17 23:17:05

I only have a few friends but I don't really make an effort if I'm honest. It all takes too much energy. On a Saturday night I'd rather be at home in bed! hmmgrin

GaynorGoodwin Thu 01-Jun-17 18:42:08

@cleanlaundry, I'm probably the same as it takes me ages to,get to know people and for me to let them in.

GaynorGoodwin Thu 01-Jun-17 18:43:01

@finn, I'm usually in bed not so late on a Saturday night but can't help wondering if I'm missing out a bit...

SummerMummy88 Thu 01-Jun-17 18:56:13

Yes I'm the same, have very few 'friends' a lady I occasionally meet on the park whilst our kids play together, a lovely old lady I walk the dog with who I presume is about 80 and one lady I met at a play centre who I meet up with but just so kids can play.

It gets to me, as a stay at home mum I get really lonely but saying that if I did have a 'bff' or close friends I don't know when I would see them I hardly have any time without the kids/dog with my husband working away most of the week.

I understand you and know how you feel.

MightyLightningMouse Thu 01-Jun-17 19:07:30

Know exactly how you feel OP! I have one close friend but that's it. I'm in my early 20s and I feel so pressured to have lots of friends and a social life - but why? I get extremely stressed and anxious at social gatherings (have general anxiety disorder but I think a lot of it is social as well) and I know I'm much happier just with my partner and pets. But it really doesn't help my confidence! People at work all know each other through family etc so are always meeting up and I'm never invited. I hate being quiet and shy, but if we were all the same I guess the world would be a dull place! smile

GaynorGoodwin Thu 01-Jun-17 19:25:43

@mighty,; I can understand how you feel. I feel pressured and usually finish work feeling like a bit of a loser not having so much to do on a weekend when they seem to be always busy. Sigh!

GaynorGoodwin Thu 01-Jun-17 19:26:28

Thanks Summermummy, and sorry your feeling the same...

Kittykat1969 Thu 01-Jun-17 19:48:22

I think it's very easy to lose friendships once you are in a relationship. I do think its wise to make sure you never rely on one person to give you all you need socially, as you never know what's round the corner.

In this modern age of internet, there are so many ways to make friends if you want to.

Diaryofalways87 Fri 02-Jun-17 00:05:28

I'm in exactly the same boat. I have an old friend from school I meet up with once in a blue moon and my best friend from primary school moved to London so rarely see her now. I just don't seem to click with people. I think my life is just so dull I have little to say and come across as uninteresting. The less I meet up with people, the more my social skills dwindle. I'm feeling very sad about it at the moment.

GaynorGoodwin Mon 05-Jun-17 21:35:21

@Diaryofalways87; I understand and agree, especially the last line. Some days I struggle to think of things to even talk about with colleagues as I've nothing new to talk about.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now