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Combining surnames?

(7 Posts)
SnootBooper Tue 30-May-17 20:02:46

Partner and I discussing marriage and future kids. He assumed we would all take his surname.

I don't really like my surname. I don't think I'd suit his. But combined I think it could work?

Imagine he is Mr Arthur and I am Miss McDonald. My proposal is McArthur.

He says it's ridiculous and we'll be laughed at. It's all hypothetical because we're not engaged or expecting a baby. But what do you guys think?

DrizzleHair Tue 30-May-17 20:05:12

I think it's a lovely idea and would push for similar if DP and I had names which could mesh like this.
As it is we don't so I'll just keep mine if we marry.
Fuck everyone else! Do what you want

StillNoFuckingEyeDeer Tue 30-May-17 20:05:29

I know couples who have done that very successfully. I think it's a great idea if it works with your names.

HysterectomyHysteria Tue 30-May-17 20:06:30

We did this.
My name = red
His name = shank
Children's name = redshank
*not real names!
Works perfectly and we have never had any problems

Shoxfordian Tue 30-May-17 20:07:35

I don't think its at all ridiculous and if it's like your example then it would work

Is he usually patriarchal in his attitudes?

Ellisandra Tue 30-May-17 21:09:57

I have some sympathy for him.

He is a product of our society, and the expectation that you will take him name has been there a long time. So much so that he won't ever have thought about having another name - the very idea of it will seem bizarre.

Whereas for women... well, how many of us doodled "Ellisandra Campbell-Black" on our scrap paper in the 80s?! We've grown up knowing that our surnames are temporary.

Personally I'd find a made up hybrid name a bit odd and would think my friends would also find it odd. Just my opinion - I'm not knocking the idea for you, but I'm saying that I see why he might also not like the idea.

FWIW, I didn't change my name on marriage (or subsequent divorce!). My daughter has her dad's name because it's unusual and I like it. (more than I like him!)

I think that it's not something to argue about when you're not engaged and not ttc. I would let him know that you don't plan to change your name when you marry, and that you'll expect to double barrel for the kids if he doesn't like the idea of a composite name. Then just leave him some time to get used to that - like I said, you've both had a lifetime of knowing that women usually change their names and men don't. Let him get used to the idea that it's going to be different.

weatherbomb Tue 30-May-17 23:00:58

When I got married I did not take exh name cos I hated it!!! I also told him that our ds would not have his name either so we compromised on something in the middle. Worked perfectly (& I'm not at all linked to ex pil wink)

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