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Not sure what to do

(8 Posts)
Callmesausage Tue 30-May-17 15:06:19

The title sums it up really. Have been married forever with 4 children, youngest mid teens.

Feel increasingly like I have no respect for my husband and even dislike him at times. Nothing terrible, but he often gets pissed. When we go out with friends, each time it just seems to be a race to see what he can get down his throat, consequently not much fun for me.

He isn't a bad guy, doesn't drink every day, mostly when we go out, but am so sick of this each time. He doesn't handle it particularly well either and is often sick, falls over etc.

Kids would be devastated if we broke up, but I just don't know how to move on. Financially I am the higher earner and would be ok, tight but ok.

Any advice would be welcome.

Aquamarine1029 Tue 30-May-17 15:51:46

I wouldn't make an ultimatum, but I would make him a guarantee. If he doesn't stop the excessive, embarrassing drinking, you will leave him. So the choice is his. He can start acting like an adult or he can go on his merry way without you by his side. Life is too short to be miserable.

Fightorflight456 Tue 30-May-17 17:34:27

Does he ever feel embarressed or annoyed with himself the next day? Does he know how ot makes you feel?

Alcohol really can bring out a different side to people, which is why I dont drink much anymore, as I know the feeling afterwards isnt worth it, for me anyway.

Maybe a chat about it would help?

My friend recorded her husband when he was drunk & played it to him the next day! Not sure I would do that, but he was mortified & now drinks less!

Callmesausage Tue 30-May-17 17:53:08

He usually apologises, says he is such an idiot, but a couple of weeks later will do the same again. He does know how I feel about it, but gets caught up in the moment and just can't seem to say no.

purplecoathanger Tue 30-May-17 17:55:58

This

I wouldn't make an ultimatum, but I would make him a guarantee. If he doesn't stop the excessive, embarrassing drinking, you will leave him. So the choice is his. He can start acting like an adult or he can go on his merry way without you by his side. Life is too short to be miserable.

Adora10 Tue 30-May-17 18:00:17

If he `often` gets pissed then he's showing you no respect either; his words are cheap if he just goes and does it again.

I'd not want to be with a man that was behaving like this, I'd lose respect for him completely; nobody is saying don't go out and have a drink but if he wants a relationship he needs to bloody well consider your feelings; he's not and is not intending to so I'm afraid for me firs thing is I would refuse to go out with him completely and I'd also tell him unless he stops the excessive drinking, we are done, and I'd mean it.

noova61 Tue 30-May-17 18:12:05

My hubby used to do this, binge drinking, falling over, being sick, shitting himself...then he had a stroke...it stopped. He does have the occasional drink, but nothing like he used to.

TheNaze73 Tue 30-May-17 18:15:43

I think there maybe an underlying issue, for which he turns to alcohol to paper over. It's not on, he needs to confront the real issue

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