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Feel pretty silly for asking but stumped...

(66 Posts)
MollyWantsACracker Tue 30-May-17 12:27:51

Right then. Next weekend I'm going to (smallish) music festival with my reasonably new partner.
He gave me the heads up that there's a good chance we will run into the wife of a mate of his who is a notorious busybody/nosey-parker who is also blessed with a solid brass neck.
She has form for quizzing people up and down it seems. "where did you meet?" and "how old are you anyway?" are typical questions I might expect from this person.
As it happens, we met on-line, and I'm a good bit older than him.

He's a little worried that I would be offended by this person, and he's not totally wrong.

Can anyone help me (us!!) with some good one-liners to have at the ready to deal with the likes of this person. I don't really want to say we met online, as she'll want to know where etc. I don't want to resort to Mind your Own Business either as it sounds rude.
I'm pretty confident generally, but struggle a bit with people her, being a reasonably polite person myself.
(Bf is dreading the thoughts of her as well)
I can't believe I'm giving this headspace but I am!

jayho Tue 30-May-17 12:33:56

Ha ha ha, none of your business

LoveMyLittleSuperhero Tue 30-May-17 12:34:06

I would be tempted to make up stories and give a different one any time she asks. Eg:
Where did you meet?
"swingers party"
"no we met on a pirate ship"
Oh come on
"ahh you got us we met at a dragon riding class"

She'll get bored quick and it should give you and dp a giggle rather than you getting upset/annoyed.

Gooseygoosey12345 Tue 30-May-17 12:40:57

Yeah I would make up wild stories too. Or just say "I don't think that's an appropriate question really" and fully refuse to answer any prying

Solasum Tue 30-May-17 12:44:28

Can't you just say where you physically had your first meeting, e.g 'in a bar'?

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Tue 30-May-17 12:45:58

S&M party - oh didn't you know he was into it?

DrMrsPepper Tue 30-May-17 12:46:07

Just say somethung really vague bit really intriguing like "I really can't indulge you that information, I'd lose my job."

It saves you from answering and will drive her mad haha.

Viewofhedges Tue 30-May-17 12:46:06

After answering a few questions truthfully : "I'm beginning to feel like I'm being interviewed. Can we talk about something else? Which bands have you seen so far..."

RapunzelsRealMom Tue 30-May-17 12:46:35

I'd give very basic answers and change the subjects. If she keeps going on, say, "Christ DP you were right! She is a really nosy Parker!" and laugh

MollyWantsACracker Tue 30-May-17 12:48:29

I can just imagine myself tripping over my words or getting red in the face if she kept pushing for an answer...
She sounds awful tbh.

That's a good idea Solasum - less likely to stumble over a partial truth.

Tempted by Swinger's Party option though... grin

Violetcharlotte Tue 30-May-17 12:51:28

I think asking where you met is a pretty standard question that ask a friend and their new partner tbh.

There's no shame in meeting online. This is how most people seem to meet nowadays. However if you're not comfortable saying this, I'd just say you met in a pub or through someone you both know.

And again, there's no shame in being older than him. I'd just be honest about how old you are. Being evasive just makes people think you've got something to hide.

Turquoisa Tue 30-May-17 12:51:42

Answer her question quickly and then ask her a question to direct everything back to her.its probably her way of making conversation and maybe she wants ppl to ask her stuff

triplesalco Tue 30-May-17 12:54:56

"Oh, we're cousins" with a beaming smile should stop her

TheNaze73 Tue 30-May-17 13:03:50

Tell her, he impressed you during a seagulling incident, when you first met at a notorious dogging hotspot.

daisychainagain Tue 30-May-17 13:13:27

Just put on a foreign accent
"Me no speak English".
Job done.

Hissy Tue 30-May-17 13:40:29

"Through friends...."

"You don't know them"

MollyWantsACracker Tue 30-May-17 13:52:29

Some of these are hilarious!!! grin

I'm liking "me no speak English" segueing into "only joking, we're cousins" {Beammmmm}

Thanks for making me laugh about it smile Tendency to overthink!!

Guiltypleasures001 Tue 30-May-17 13:54:53

Just say " I'm a fairy and twirl around in circles " 😏

AndTheBandPlayedOn Tue 30-May-17 13:57:06

Say "Why do you want to know?" To every single question.

FizzyGreenWater Tue 30-May-17 14:02:52

Yes, just say you met in the bar you had your first meeting in.

As for your age, depending on how brave you feel:

'Wow, yes, DP said that you would ask me that, that you are totally obsessed with how old people are! Amazing. But you shouldn't worry about being hung up on ages you know. You actually look really good I think!'

That will really piss her off.

Tearsoffrustration Tue 30-May-17 14:04:54

I would second where you physicality met - this is what I told my DS when he asked - in a pub - actually met online 😉

user1491572121 Tue 30-May-17 14:07:39

People like that get annoyed when you answer their question but immediately fire one back.

Her: old are you?

You: Thirty, where are you from originally?

Her: Er...Kent. What's that top you're wearing? Is it by X designer?

You: No, it's from Next..have you got kids?

You're just giving them as good as they give and they usually stop.

bowtieandheels Tue 30-May-17 14:08:19

Agree with Turqoisa, answer her question with a short answer then turn the question on her...'we met at a party, are you married? How long have you been together and where did you meet?' Kinda thing...

Strawberryjam34 Tue 30-May-17 14:09:02

Just tell her to 'f**k off'
Sorry I have 0 tolerance for people like this! They only do it as others allow them to get away with it. I know you don't want to be rude but, she obviously doesn't care about it!

metalmum15 Tue 30-May-17 14:09:21

I would ask her the same question she asks you, so every time she asks something, immediately ask the same question in return. Hopefully she'll soon get bored, and she won't ask questions she doesn't want you to know about her.

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