URGENT husband advice: How long/quickly does labour last with No 2 if No 1 was an induction and emergency c-sec?

[SkyeBlu]

My wife is currently 39 weeks and 3 days expecting our second baby. Our first baby had to be induced at 42 weeks and after a traumatic labour ended in an emergency C-section. She is very twitchy about my commitment to work and needing to be 3.5 hrs drive away for work all day on Thursday (2 days time) - 3 days before official due date. I really need to go to this meeting. Am I or she being unreasonable? Please advise!!!

[EC22]

How long is apiece of string, no one can answer your question but I wouldn't risk being that far away when my wife was die, why give her more stress than she needs!?

[unfortunateevents]

Well if your wife goes into labour on Wed night/Thurs a.m. you won't be able to go and the meeting will presumably go ahead without you so I'm sure they'll manage without you if they have to! As the other poster has said, it is impossible to tell how this labour will progress and the last one is no guideline.

[HolgerDanske]

Uh yeah it doesn't work like that.

I doubt your meeting is actually that important. Still, regardless of the meeting and exactly how important it is, she is clearly not being unreasonable to be concerned. What a stupid question.

[CowParsleyNettle]

She's about to pop a human being out of her vagina that you helped put there, what your wife wants you to do, you do.

[Redken24]

My husband worked away until I was 41 plus - I was induced.
Can you video conference?

[BandeauSally]

Her labour will be 7 hours and 47 minutes. The baby will be born on Saturday the 3rd of June at 8.14pm weighing 7lb4oz and measuring 53cm. It will be a boy named James with dark curly hair and will give you the finger as he has his first feed.

Anything else you would like to know while I have the crystal ball out?

[YoureNotASausage]

In all honesty it's not completely impossible that she could have a 2hr labour. Highly unlikely though. I'd say though if she is feeling totally normal with no mild contractions when it's time to go, you'd probably be fine to go and get back.

[Chaotica]

I would go to the meeting. But be prepared for a sudden drive back. (Or not to go at all.)

[YoureNotASausage]

If she's feeling really anxious though, I think you need to respect that and move the meeting.

[unfortunateevents]

Can you video conference? - what - the labour? Sorry, not helpful! Obviously you meant the meeting but it made me giggle!

[olympicsrock]

Wow! I had exactly this scenario first time round. It was terrifying. I had a planned section second time round because of this. Your baby could come any time and be a short or long labour. I think you are totally unreasonable to be so far away when she needs your support and reassurance

[ThatsWotSheSaid]

She wants you close so stay close.

[WhiteCaribou]

If you were ill and unable to go to the meeting they would do without you. No one is indispensable.

[ChocChocPorridge]

Who knows. I was having frequent, regular contractions for over a week, finally I couldn't cope (pain, and lack of sleep) and DP drove me in, and I just refused to leave. I also refused any induction, and went for EMCS less than 24 hours later.

I needed DP there to look after kids though, and to drive me, and to go and demand pain relief - although I sent him home to check on older one (with relatives) when they gave me some pethidine so I could rest of an hour. Of course when he didn't get back quickly enough they took me down to the labour ward and did an explicitly forbidden sweep, tried to bully me onto the bed and into having an epidural (I was holding off for spinal with EMCS). YMMV

[Stiddleficks]

My first labour was 29 hours, my second was 1 hour 10 mins. You need to be close.

[TheSparrowhawk]

Am I right in thinking your wife has risked her health and her life for the last nine months to grow your child in her body and now you're telling her that you can't possibly miss one day of work to support her? Well she's got the message loud and clear about how much you value what she's doing for you, hasn't she.

[fuzzywuzzy]

YABVVU!

Her anxiety is completely understandable. My first was late and ended in my inducing. My second was tee weeks early and a dream Labour my third was induced to reudced foetal movement at forty weeks and possibly the most traumatic of the three labours.

For the sake of your relationship with your wife do as your wife has asked. Can you work from home and attend the meeting via Skype or something?

[Applesandpears23]

What other support has she got? I couldn't have looked after another child at all during the early part of my last labour.

[SandyDenny]

Husband - you sound a little uninformed about the process of labour.

You don't actually think there's a formula that links previous facts to future totally unpredicatable future events do you?

No one here can help you, there's no way to know, like everyone else you'll have to make decisions taking all your own circumstances into account. If you don't go to the meeting and your baby isn't born during that time please be assured that it isn't your wife's fault.

Personally I'd carry on as normal but let your work colleagues know you might literally have to drop everything and race home with no notice.

[MugwumpSupreme]

Why would you put a meeting ahead of your wife and child? FWIW I had identical circumstances for DC1 and DC2 was born at 39+4 in under 3 hours.

[randomsabreuse]

Cancelling meetings because your wife "might" go into labour would look flaky. Go to meeting, keep mobile on, make sure she has contact details for meeting venue as well. Assuming no major signs of labour overnight anyway...

My Dad got called out of a meeting because my mum was having an EMCS with me well before mobile phones.

Life (that pays for important stuff) can't stop just because a baby might arrive!

[ravenmum]

I hope you are not putting any bets on being able to attend this meeting; she might go onto labour the night before and be pressing the baby out at the very moment it starts. A bit silly to plan something important at this time tbh.

[Ecureuil]

Do you really think anyone can answer that question? If so you need to do some biology reading.

[AssassinatedBeauty]

Yep, avoiding looking "flaky" at work is definitely much more important than supporting your wife...

You haven't said what your contingency plans are for childcare and for her getting to the hospital if she needs to when you are away in this meeting. Have you thought about that at all? It's utterly unreasonable to attend the meeting without putting in place plans to cope with any eventuality.

[BluePeppers]

Well there is no way that you can say how long the second labour will be.
Wat you can say is that she is more likely to have a harder time the second time around if things didnt go smoothly the first time.
That she is also very likely to be anxious about giving birth (not surprinsing).
And she expecting you to be there to support her during the birth rather than to have to anxiously wait for you to finally turn up. Aka she wants YOU to be there for HER rather than HER having to bend over for YOU.

Fwiw there isnt such a thing as a meeting you CANNOT not go to.
There is such a thing as not supporting the mother of your child.