What am I doing?

GirlOnATrainToShite · 2017-05-29 21:42:46

I have NC. Been with OH 10 years. Supported him through 5 court cases for speeding where he was eventually banned for a year. He has to drive as he works a long way away and his kids live a long way away too. I drove him around for a year - after he had been warned and warned about the speeding. He has thrown a bike through a window I was stood next to which smashed, threw a glass and smashed a glass door in the house, upturned the dining room table making a massive dent in the wall, smashed a 46" tv by lobbing a clothes airer at it, kicked our bedroom door in when I had locked it to keep him out for my own safety, thrown me through a shop window. Tried to strangle me. I have called the police twice and had to fob of social care as my child is 15 (never been in the house when he has been violent). Had two affairs simultaneously giving me an STI after I had a drunken 1 night stand (while he was away for work for a long time) and now recently paid to sleep with a whore. I work in DV. I am leading a double life. I stay because I lie to myself that he will change and we have an amazing sex life (that's not a lie - he never has forced me into anything) and we are getting married. I adore his kids, their mum is fucked up too and I am the only "stable" ( ) adult in their lives. How fucked up is my life?

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

This thread has been deleted

We've agreed to take this thread down for the OP in case it causes problems for her in real life.

Thanks to everyone who gave advice and support.

OP, we hope you're okay.