Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Opinions please before I challenge him.

(22 Posts)
Lacoba66 Mon 29-May-17 17:53:39

I met my DP on-line 18 months ago and we now live together. The other day whilst he was deleting emails (I didn't see if it was from junk- not even sure that's relevant?) and saw a 'muddy matches' email.

When we got together it was on one particular dating site and i know that he was on POF as well, but he told me he deleted all sites.

I have checked out this website and they say that if you de-register, then they don't send you emails.

Now am i being gullible here, or do all dating sites spam you? I must say that the two I was on haven't since I de-registered.

I have looked on the site as a registered user and not found a pic of him, but I haven't paid to join - not sure how much more that would show me.

Rainbowglow Mon 29-May-17 17:55:34

Trust your instincts but don't accuse without more evidence. Just keep an eye on him.

Happybunny19 Mon 29-May-17 18:05:15

Is it possible he's deleted the aps but not actually deactivated the account?

explodingkittens Mon 29-May-17 18:08:51

I've been with dp for 6 years, met online, we're getting married next year.

I STILL get bloody spam from muddy matches!! No one else, just them. The irony is that I don't think I ever actually used the site, just registered back in the dim and distant past but certainly never set up a profile.

Honestly, it's probably nothing. They are tenacious.

FetchezLaVache Mon 29-May-17 18:11:31

DP and I met on Muddy Matches. He was a fully paid-up member, I was a cheapskate free member.

Since I deactivated my profile, I haven't heard a thing from them.

I've just asked DP and he said he got an email shortly after he cancelled his account and not a sausage since.

I think he's telling porkies, personally... Sorry, OP.

FetchezLaVache Mon 29-May-17 18:18:59

...having actually applied my brain, I have just remembered that I used my secondary email account for MM, not my everyday one. Have just checked said account and there are indeed messages from MM for about 18 months after I took my profile down, whereupon they seemed to give up.

So maybe he was a non-subscriber like me (and, presumably, kittens?)

explodingkittens Mon 29-May-17 18:23:57

Mine seemed to stop for quite a while and then start again, thinking about it. Maybe they got a new, more aggressive marketing team!

Yes, I was a non-subscriber. Never even put a photo up, iirc.

There are many things that would be red flags for me in a relationship, OP, but spam from Muddy Matches wouldn't be one of them.

JK1773 Mon 29-May-17 18:28:18

Yes I have loads of junk emails from Muddy Matches and I never subscribed fully to their site

Lacoba66 Mon 29-May-17 18:36:20

So exploding & Lavache are you saying that after de-registering ( it having been subscribers) you still received messages, but in 'spam/junk'? I don't know where he received it confused.

I am a little [hmmm] as he never mentioned any other sites and he must have registered where's we live now, as previously he was in London ( oh and he's a wanna be outdoors type wink.

I may sit on it for a week or two, as I have unsubscribe from an account that I don't normally use and see what it does..

To the poster who said about just deleting apps- I have looked and can't find one.

explodingkittens Mon 29-May-17 18:40:15

No, not messages as in ones from other users, but 'hey we've got 20% off registration this weekend' or whatever, I dunno tbh, I just delete them straightaway now.

Basically they still have my email address and are still spamming me. They come to my inbox, not my spam/junk folder

Was it an email containing a message from another user or just an advertising one?

explodingkittens Mon 29-May-17 18:41:25

Why couldn't he have registered when living in London?

McGintyii Mon 29-May-17 18:42:38

I still get muddy matches emails now, I deleted my account years ago 😡 they go straight into my junk folder though.

JK1773 Mon 29-May-17 18:43:16

OP I went on Muddy Matches despite not being very outdoorsy. It was recommended to me and seemed a bit less full of weirdos. I've just checked my junk emails and have loads from MM, POF and Match. I was only on them a few weeks and just deleted the apps. The profiles are probably still there. I wouldn't know. I think you are being a bit harsh. If my DP mistrusted me over something such as this I'd be questioning my relationship. These sites bombard you with emails and you generally have no control over it confused

Lacoba66 Mon 29-May-17 18:43:22

I wasn't able to see, as he deleted very quickly. I know that a lot of people get spammed even after de-registration, but if he had shown it to me, I'd have laughed!

I don't have acces to his phone (very private) so may never know.

Lacoba66 Mon 29-May-17 18:45:45

JK I get what you're saying, but it isn't an app ( as far as I can see) and he did tell me that he had deleted all dating sites.

Hey, he may have forgotten about one, but surely I'm still allowed to question it.

explodingkittens Mon 29-May-17 18:53:41

Hmm. Has he given you reason to suspect him in other ways, OP? Several posters have said they've had the same issue yet you seem determined to suspect him?

You may be over thinking this one (and believe me that's not something I say often wrt men...)

Queenofthedrivensnow Mon 29-May-17 19:18:06

I've started getting matched from pof by email! It actually states in the email I registered in 2015 but I shit myself - dp would balk if he saw them!

Lacoba66 Mon 29-May-17 19:18:32

I've just asked him and he says it a site that he accessed in London. He didn't want to access his 'forgotten' password until I insisted and now we are waiting for him to access his account via forgotten password.

Explod- yes I know that the conces is 'it's the norm' but I have a history of dodgy stuff from pre relationships and he is 'tight' with his phone.

We will see & maybe I need to let loose here

Lacoba66 Mon 29-May-17 21:13:11

Woah!!! It turns out that I've unsettled a whole load of s @*@te*!

Sadly MM was the least of my worries blush

What a fool I was!

annielouise Mon 29-May-17 21:27:51

oh bugger, doesn't sound good

Naicehamshop Mon 29-May-17 22:00:32

You ok, op?

RedDahlia Mon 29-May-17 22:36:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: