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can i have somones perspective? (Sorry long)

(20 Posts)
DJPon3 Sun 28-May-17 14:04:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

user1495707114 Sun 28-May-17 14:06:12

You don't seem to have much self esteem. She is treating you like an absolute mug. Please don't get back with her.

DJPon3 Sun 28-May-17 14:08:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AttilaTheMeerkat Sun 28-May-17 14:11:06

Do not get back with this woman ever.

Love your own self for a change.

hesterton Sun 28-May-17 14:11:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SherlockStones Sun 28-May-17 14:13:14

She's no good for you and this won't be the last time it happens.

It will be difficult but you need to leave and find someone that likes you as much as you like them, don't settle for this lame excuse for a relationship you're not happy and being taken advantage of.

hesterton Sun 28-May-17 14:13:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Sun 28-May-17 14:17:21

Your relationship is over. . She tried to use another man as an excuse to leave but it backfired. . She came home as maybe she can't go it alone for whatever reason. .
Help her sort out a new address, then you can concentrate on being good parents but in 2 homes.

DJPon3 Sun 28-May-17 14:25:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lynmilne65 Sun 28-May-17 14:28:17

Quite agree from an older person!

Girlywurly Sun 28-May-17 14:38:32

You've seen for yourself that's she's prepared to do next to nothing to make your relationship work.

I'd have thought your efforts would be best spent in coming to some kind of reasonable, amicable settlement as regards how your DD is cared for from here on.

YoLoZammo Sun 28-May-17 14:39:08

TBH you sound a bit needy and smothering. And drinking all day then confronting her? No mention of how arseholey you may have come across. Nobody raises issues with their partner while drunk in a calm and rational way. Just accept there is no love there and you need to let the relationship go and focus in being a good dad. Sorry if that feels harsh. Best of luck.

pop000 Sun 28-May-17 14:44:57

I don't think you sound needy or smothering at all- I think you sound neglected, wanting to feel loved by your significant other is perfectly normal. She sounds very confused. I think she probably is scared of being alone and maybe she's now realised that the decision is not only hers. You're speaking up and having a voice and seemed to have gained some self respect which probably scares the shit out of her that you won't always be her "backup" plan if the next relationship fails.

BubblingUp Sun 28-May-17 14:54:47

She's looking for a new man to jump to.

SparklyMagpie Sun 28-May-17 14:55:02

Leave it and move on OP. I understand you love her but i can't believe you took her back when it was obvious you were second best

HildaOg Sun 28-May-17 15:01:16

There are plenty of lovely, kind, honest, genuine women out there who would love to meet someone who will love them and treat them well. Find someone you deserve, someone who will love you and be good to you. You are better than her.

user1474439326 Sun 28-May-17 18:00:18

Unfortunately it sounds like she wants it fall back into place but isn't making the effort and was just hoping you could plod along. I guess with children involved it is always advisable to try and not to let things go at the first hurdle so to speak, but it seems as if , for both of you, this isn't the right thing to do anymore.
It will be very sad and hard to let go when the will is there, but wouldn't you rather your daughter grew up seeing her 'examples' display love and affection?
Good luck and I hope you can move on xx

grungeneverdied Sun 28-May-17 18:13:29

Meet a woman who generally is interested in you, wants to show you affection. Why waste your time with someone who doesn't put in effort. Won't even hug or kiss you. No chance, coming from another bloke duck out and stay out plenty more woman who will give you their all mate

AnyFucker Sun 28-May-17 18:17:42

You sound like a complete doormat

Bin her off permanently for christs sake

Cary2012 Sun 28-May-17 18:30:04

Your final question is 'Am I being selfish, stubborn or unreasonable?" And the answer is of course not.

But you are watering a plant long after it has withered and died.

Your DD has to take priority, so keep things amicable and do your best to joint parent her.

After doing all you can for DD, detach from your partner, for whatever reason she's dithering, perhaps scared to be alone, but that's not your problem. I guarantee that if you reconcile, she will do this again and again.

Make the break, look to the future. I wish you well.

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