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Taking the kids abroad, STBXH-style. Stranded and not BA!

(11 Posts)
STBXW Sat 27-May-17 20:50:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

STBXW Sat 27-May-17 20:56:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

picklemepopcorn Sat 27-May-17 21:29:13

Bless you. What a nightmare. Perhaps he'll learn? Can you make light of it with the kids- silly daddy- just to reassure them a bit?

MrsTerryPratchett Sat 27-May-17 21:33:13

Why are you acting as his secretary? Why is he expecting you to?

One of the best things about divorcing an incompetent manchild is that they are no longer your problem. By all means reassure the kids but he can sort his pile of shit out himself can't he?

STBXW Sat 27-May-17 22:18:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsTerryPratchett Sat 27-May-17 22:25:02

He doesn't have a friend, sibling, parent? Because that's who I asked to do things after I got divorced. Not my exH. Did he expect you to sort his life out when you were married?

STBXW Sat 27-May-17 22:48:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsTerryPratchett Sun 28-May-17 00:09:05

That's not a lot of credit grin he knows how to do things but he gradually made you do more and more and now he's incapable!

A family member had one of these. After they divorced he still expected her family members to sort shit out for him. Genuinely wondered why we were, "um no".

Ellisandra Sun 28-May-17 00:18:11

I'm a great parent, and I got half way to the airport without my cards a few weeks back. It happens.

The flight delay wasn't his fault - weird to go to France via Germany, but maybe there was a reason.

Leaving your name on the booking? Do you mean you booked it all together before you split? I wouldn't bother to change it in his shoes - it's pointless, what material difference does it make? (If he booked it in your name after your divorce that's just weird)

TBH I don't think kids crying on FaceTime means he wasn't coping. They were upset because it was late, stressful, they'll have picked up on his stress. Even if he communicated perfectly, they'd probably still cry to you, that's what kids do.

I know I'd be irritated to hell if it was my ex, but from the outside I think you're doing what I'd do to - end up finding more to be irritated by than necessary!

It takes a while to disentangle from a marriage. Four years down the line no way would I call my XH if I left my cards at home. But in the early days, he might have been the obvious choice, the one who still had a key, who lived really close, had a vested interest in helping because they were his kids...

I dunno - I'm 95% "XHs are arseholes!" and 5% - the only lack of planning there is forgetting his cards, which could happen to anyone. (although if he's booked flights with a 10 minutes changeover...!)

TBH, I'm dead curious to know the airports and why you would ever go UK to FR via DE!

Ellisandra Sun 28-May-17 00:25:21

Just on the turning to you on the cards thing...
You're only STBXW, and still in the process of discussing child arrangements.
Reading between the lines - are you still living in the same house?
If so, perfectly reasonable that he should turn to you to courier the cards, if they're within metres of you!

But please please please tell me the route! I cannot imagine any 2 flight combo to France being cheaper than 1! I'm really curious about it grin

mamakena Sun 28-May-17 09:53:10

Is he this involved with dc during your week with them?

Sounds like a combination of his learned helplessness and your enablement. If you hadn't leapt into save the day, he'd have managed just fine.

My advice is to be truly child-free and no contact when they're with him... Hard I know but the kids will adjust in seconds and you'll get some peace in your life.

PS- also this pattern smacks of controlling behaviour, keeping you on a leash and disrupting your life.

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