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Porn addicted ex, constant rejection and feeling miserable.

(1 Post)
user1495910689 Sat 27-May-17 19:56:30

I have posted on here before talking about my situation but I feel as though I have hit an all time low. I am 22 and miserable.

I was with my EX-DP for 3 years, 2 of those were me doing everything to try and help him with his porn addiction. He came up with every excuse under the sun to avoid going to therapy telling me that he didn't like vaginas, I wasn't his type, he never fancied me, my body was 'weird'. Despite all of this I genuinely poured my heart and soul into trying to help him, dedicating pretty much all my time into researching ways to try and help him and fix our relationship.

Just before Christmas I ended our relationship as I realised it was a lost cause. Recently I met a new man who I clicked with so well and admittedly got a little over-invested in. He was extremely complimentary towards me and seemed to genuinely want to know me. A few of weeks ago we tried to have sex and I had to stop half way through as I felt terribly uncomfortable and self-conscious. I explained to him why this had happened due to my ex and said I may need hand-holding through this for a little while.

Since then he has gradually got quieter and quieter. The daily texts have stopped and I haven't seen him in over 2 weeks as he has been 'busy'. I realise this is just him breaking things off with me, perhaps because I am too damaged and he isn't prepared to deal with this.

I have a 2 year old son with my ex, but due to his living situation (he lives in a HMO), he cannot have our son over night. This means that he only sees our son on a Saturday and Sunday day time, never overnight. I am getting up at 6am every morning with him and putting him to bed every night on my own. I also work on a Sat/Sun so get no break even when he has him during the day.

To make matters worse when I do have the opportunity to go out and let my hair down a bit, all of my friends are busy either with work or their own families. I feel miserable and so lonely, as if I am trapped in the confines of my house.

I know I need to practise some self-love and be happy on my own but it is so difficult. I feel so aggrieved that I put so much effort into the relationship with my ex only to be shit all over. Coupled with the rejection from the recent guy I was seeing and never seeing people my own age, I feel miserable. I love spending time with my son but I feel constantly lonely and stressed out.

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