Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

At the end of a relationship, how do you decide where to live?

(5 Posts)
Want2beme Fri 26-May-17 09:48:24

My LTR of over 30 years, ended nearly a year and a half ago. I've stayed in our home, as X works overseas most of the time. There is absolutely no pressure on me to move out/on, and I've stayed put as I needed the time to adjust to being single after so many years - it was a very tough time.

I live overseas from my family, not thousands of miles away, but still a different country. Where I live now is very pleasant, I work from home, know people but don't have any good friends. I live in a very small town and it seems really difficult to find interesting things to do. I'm also a fairly insular person, and I don't push myself to mix with people.

If I move to where my family are, mum, sisters, niece, nephews, etc, I don't have DCs, it would be in a very big and bustling city and I just don't want that pace of life these days.

I'm going on here!

Does anyone know of a system, programme or something to help you decide where to live?


NotJanine Fri 26-May-17 11:39:20

I think you just have to weigh up the pros and cons of different places. Could you move closer to your family but not actually in the city?

Notalotterywinner Fri 26-May-17 13:01:42

This sounds a bit odd but go on holiday if you can, time away always is a great time for reflection on life and away from your familiar surroundings is useful sometimes.

Do you need to make a decision quickly?

FFFriday2017 Fri 26-May-17 13:22:49

I would suggest going to visit your family and investigate if you want to move to their country. You dont have to live in their immediate area

I would investigate moving and housing costs in that country

I would investigate jobs in that country

I have moved several times, I enjoy exploring a new area and investigating new opportunities
I am in the process of moving again
I will have a job
I will have a property
Local shops 5 minutes walk
Local social club 5 minutes walk
There will be things to do in local town and countryside
Not near family, but will be able to visit via car or public transport
So you would need to make your own list of what you want

In your case, you have not moved for some time
Do your research
Be brave, if you move your life may become 100% better ?

Want2beme Fri 26-May-17 15:26:08

Thanks everyone. I'll mull over your suggestions.

I have given my move a lot of practical thought. I think the reason I can't make such a big decision is that I haven't had to up to this part of my life, now 50, as I've always gone with the flow. Truth be told, I'm a pretty passive person, but I've been trying hard not to be this past year, and am endeavoring to grow up.

There's no rush for me to move on, but I'd like to be gone from here within the next couple of years. I do like where I live and would be happy enough to stay here, but I'd also like to live closer to my mum, who's getting on now. I have moved around a fair bit, so am used to living in different countries, but I don't think that actually helps anyone to settle down, as you tend to get itchy feet.

I think I'll make a list!

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: