Slightly embarrassed at posting this as compared to some of the problems people have this is nothing. But it does fall into the remit of relationships.
10 years ago we bought what we thought was our forever home. The moment I walked in I saw myself living there when I was 80 years old and sitting at a seat by the window in the living room watching the goings on down below. It's a beautiful period building in a lovely city, and we restored it from crumbling, decorated it and settled there.
I brought my DC home from the hospital to the house, and they've grown up there so far (they're still young - under 5.) I spent my first night as a new mother there with DD1, in the living room, holding her on my chest feeling the weight of responsibility, but also feeling elated and grown up.
Every time I have felt sad or depressed the house has been a retreat for me, and I feel very peaceful and safe there. It's the first house I have ever "owned" too, as I could only afford a joint mortgage with DH.
Anyway, thanks to DH making some poor investment decisions, we are struggling. We've investigated a lot of options, but the only option seems to be to sell our house.
DH is trying to be very matter of fact about it and telling me I have to want what's best for our family and what's best right now is that we have enough to bridge our financial gap. Which is true. He says that even talking about it or investing emotion in it is a waste of time and does not benefit us.
But every time I think about losing the house or selling it, I want to bite my cheek hard inside my mouth. The thought of it is unbearable.
I am also angry at DH and I don't know if i can get over his decisions which led to the events where we had to sell this house. But it's more loss that I feel than anger.
We had a lot of parties there, friends would drop round as it was the centre of town. Lots of memories, family, events, working from home. The house was so tied up in my identity.
I'm just wondering if anyone's got some words of consolation. Even a kick up the ass. Or telling me why I am feeling this way about the house.
DH keeps telling me that our family is our family - the 5 of us - not the house. That wherever we go will be our home. And of course I agree with that, that's what that matters.
But I just feel like what I thought was my future has disappeared in front of my eyes.
Is that justified?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
We have to sell our house and I feel bereft
Saffastisat · 26/05/2017 00:40
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.