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Whose unreasonable?

(22 Posts)
Notgoodatall Thu 25-May-17 20:11:56

It may seem minor but things are really affecting our relationship.
It's 8pm. I want to put our kids to bed but when I come in from being outside to do so, I find he has given them snacks in bed.
Every night he refuses to be quiet around the house and will bang and slam things which mean our 15 month old baby will wake up multiple times and I have to go and sort him out. He says he isn't creeping around his house.
Do other people in our position try and be quiet at night time so not to wake the baby. Our baby also has cerebral palsy which means he does wake up due to one side of his body being weak.
It's actually really affecting our relationship resulting in an argument every night.

Justbreathing Thu 25-May-17 20:17:39

Who the hell bangs around with a sleeping child upstairs, no one would do it because they wouldn't want to deal with the constant settling down again.
So from that I might infer, he makes the noise you do the settling...?
If he had to do the settling would he make the noise, that's the question you might ask yourself, and perhaps the reasons why.
Doesn't sound great

Smeaton Thu 25-May-17 20:17:43

I was a out to say that we've made a point not to 'Be quiet' when DD goes to bed, she's 4. The reason being that I am very very sensitive to noise and after Mich therapy and looking into the reasons why blah blah blah. One if the causes was my mum insisting in absolute silence from when I went to bed as a child.

But, our DD hasn't got Cerebral palsy, your DC does, its a different ball game entirely. In your case I think he's being a total fuck nugget and should have some consideration, he's not a gorilla pissing on his property.
"Ugg. My house, me do what me want... Grrr'

BoudiccasHare Thu 25-May-17 20:17:43

If he won't be quiet in the house he can sort the kids when he wakes them.

Notgoodatall Thu 25-May-17 21:02:00

Thanks. I'm going to tonight. I don't know why he is so difficult about it. After dealing with kids all day I just want some quiet time

pinkyredrose Thu 25-May-17 21:03:49

Why doesn't he sort out the kids when he wakes them?

Slightlyperturbedowlagain Thu 25-May-17 21:04:21

I might be tempted to find some quiet time in the pub and let him deal with them. After a week or so he might decide being quiet is a good thing.

PosyBear Fri 26-May-17 07:26:10

I was Googling "Mich therapy", thinking it was a way to help people with noise sensitivity. My 25 year old daughter experiences this to such an extreme level that some areas of her life can be miserable.
But I think it was an auto correct...

PosyBear Fri 26-May-17 07:30:13

Forgot to say: I find having to creep about when children are asleep very annoying. We tend to be our normal selves around the house when the children (2.5 and 6 months) are in bed. If we accidentally wake them, they resettle themselves. But we don't go into their rooms or crash about or anything. Nothing deliberately idiotic. But yeah. No creeping about trying to be quiet.

Smeaton Fri 26-May-17 07:41:28

"Mich therapy" should be "Much therapy"

Sorry.

Joysmum Fri 26-May-17 07:45:32

I was never quiet either. From the start I was hovering during nap time etc as I wanted a baby who could settle herself and sleep through most things. Mind you, my dd doesn't have CP.

Either way, whoever ever woke the baby should resettle the baby.

Badliar Fri 26-May-17 07:51:58

Why is he banging and slamming anyway?

abbsisspartacus Fri 26-May-17 07:52:50

There is not being quiet and being a dick sounds like yours is a dick

DarkFloodRises Fri 26-May-17 07:56:20

Just say to him: if you make a noise and the baby wakes, you're responsible for getting him back to sleep.

The snacks in bed thing would really annoy me too!

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 Fri 26-May-17 08:11:34

I won't be silent around baby sleeping but obviously I'm not going out of my way to make loud sounds. Really don't think it is a good think too not have any kind of background noise around a baby.

Is it actually your husband slamming cupboards that is waking your child or the CP?

Walkacrossthesand Fri 26-May-17 08:36:25

What about dental hygiene too - once night feeds have been dropped, there should be no food/drinks (other than water) after teeth have been brushed, surely?

thethoughtfox Fri 26-May-17 11:01:37

Banging doors and slamming things isn't normal behaviour never mind normal family noise. Refusing to adjust your behaviour for the good of your children is very odd and when you factor in a sick baby, this is disturbing. This aggressive (seemingly deliberate) noise making is a huge red flag. This reads like he is an angry and aggressive man. Does this sound like him? Was he always selfish and angry? Is he struggling with having a child with a health condition?

GoodEyebrowDay Fri 26-May-17 13:24:42

I've always wondered why it's considered a positive thing to be noisy when a child is asleep so they 'get used to it' but if an adult is asleep they'd be well pissed if someone started hoovering.

We speak a little quieter & avoid floorboards when DD in bed, just seems courteous

Cricrichan Fri 26-May-17 13:30:58

I'd be fuming! I'd also join a gym and let him do bedtime every night whilst you were out. See how long it would continue.

Joysmum Fri 26-May-17 17:19:51

I've always wondered why it's considered a positive thing to be noisy when a child is asleep so they 'get used to it' but if an adult is asleep they'd be well pissed if someone started hoovering

Because kids go to bed much earlier and most adults work so chores etc need to get done after work.

GoodEyebrowDay Fri 26-May-17 19:40:50

They can wait?

Joysmum Fri 26-May-17 21:41:06

In your house maybe, but not for many. Personally we prefer to have as much done during the week so weekends (if not overtime) are leisure time.

My munchkin is much older now and can sleep anywhere at any time without reliance on routine or quiet. I'm glad I did what I did with her.

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