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DP old phone

(15 Posts)
closeyoureyessarah Tue 23-May-17 14:01:50

NC for this.
Inherited a phone off my boyfriend (been together 4 years, no kids) a month ago. He deleted most of his stuff but some messages were left on there. Most were really boring. Making arrangements about football, gym, pub, car. There was one message string which has really got me worried. An old gf had found him through FB and she sent a message asking him how things were. The messages went back and forth over a few days and were late at night when I was in bed and he was watching TV
He gave her a life update and mentioned me a few times.
The problem is some of the messages were very, very mildly flirtatious. Talking about dates they had been on, reminiscing and so on.
I can't get these messages out of my head and nothing like this has happened before. AIBU?
I don't want to snoop but I find myself mentally questioning him every time his phone beeps. Please tell me I have nothing to worry about.

TheStoic Tue 23-May-17 14:06:40

How recently did this happen?

MVLipwig Tue 23-May-17 14:08:21

So he mentioned he's with you multiple times and they reminisced a bit? Seems harmless to me. Mention it if you must but I wouldn't blame him for being upset at the lack of trust. If he felt something more was happening he surely would have deleted them

closeyoureyessarah Tue 23-May-17 14:20:00

First time about a year ago and then another message string in February.

I am probably being stupid.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Tue 23-May-17 14:27:48

I don't think he would have deleted other things but left these messages if they were anything significant TBH.

What man thinks "oh, I'd better clear that old phone off - but leave the messages from the OW?" I'd expect those to be the first messages to go!

"Very, very mildly flirtatious" to one person can be another person's "just polite".

OutToGetYou Tue 23-May-17 14:34:11

If he'd never mentioned being in contact with her I'd be a bit uncomfortable - so I might say 'who's Flossie then, there's some messages on your phone'.

It's not mistrust, it's just being open with people.

Ladyformation Tue 23-May-17 14:35:44

Sounds totally harmless to me.

scottishdiem Tue 23-May-17 14:39:11

Very, very mildly flirtatious

I dont know what you mean by this. Either you are massively underplaying something or are gross mistaking politeness.

If its the latter, you need to get your insecurities looked at.

Chaotica Tue 23-May-17 14:39:37

Sounds harmless. If he hadn't mentioned you, I'd be worried. Perhaps he didn't mention it because it was so insignificant that he didn't even think to.

closeyoureyessarah Tue 23-May-17 14:42:28

I think you are right, totally harmless.

There were a few what might have been comments and he also said our holiday was a bit boring but I found the holiday boring as well.

Just silly me I think.

SandyY2K Tue 23-May-17 18:00:45

Define mildly flirtatious. I think reminiscing is OK, but if it moves into territory of meeting up or things like, "I wish we could do xyz again now", then you have something to worry about.

Mom2K Wed 24-May-17 01:16:37

I wouldn't like contact with an ex personally, but I agree with the others that the exchange sounds harmless.

Aquamarine1029 Wed 24-May-17 01:18:29

I think it was a harmless trip down memory lane. Put it behind you and move on.

closeyoureyessarah Wed 24-May-17 07:00:56

Thanks everyone. It does look like I'm being a bit of a sausage.
I think he would get a little jealous if things were the other way around. It was the what might have been comments which have got me thinking most. Does he still wish he were with her, I really hope not.

GoodDayToYou Wed 24-May-17 09:10:51

I would ask him and have a conversation about it.

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