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What extra nice things do you do for your partner?

(38 Posts)
GreenHairDontCare Mon 22-May-17 13:01:12

Dh (who is lovely) is currently working up to 60hrs pw. I'm a SAHM with all kids at school.

I'm trying to make him feel really cherished and appreciated and I'd be grateful for any suggestions, big or small.

I currently make him endless cups of tea when he's wfh. I make his sandwiches for the office and like to surprise him with different fillings he likes (when he does them himself it's always cheese salad!).

I'm doing all the housework and have taken over 'his' jobs like the garden and bins etc. Making sure he's always got time to do something for himself each day even if it's only half an hour in the guitar.

What else could I do? It needs to be free or cheap or it won't count, he's stressed about money hence the overtime.

ImperialBlether Mon 22-May-17 13:02:29

The obvious thing if he's stressed about money and if you're a SAHM with all children in school, would be for you to get part-time or full-time work.

MrsHathaway Mon 22-May-17 13:05:06

Are there logistical reasons that prevent you from getting a job? Our school is always desperate for lunch time assistants - so yes all right it's only £40 a week or something but it would pay for Christmas and birthdays.

Aside from that, nobody's job is completely secure, so it makes sense for both partners to have their toe in the water just in case.

QuitMoaning Mon 22-May-17 13:06:01

When I make packed lunches, I sometimes cut them into heart shapes (and I am really not a hearts and flowers kinda gal so this is a notable thing). I also sometimes leave him little notes in his lunch, sometimes romantic, sometimes funny, sometimes fruity....
The smaller free gestures mean more in my opinion so go for it.

GreenHairDontCare Mon 22-May-17 13:07:24

Oh sorry, I should have said. I'm unable to work due to shocking MH. I get ESA and the risks of me getting a job (which would be pt and min wage) and losing that, and then having a crash and losing my job and having to reapply and maybe get turned down... it's a horrible little trap to be in. So that's off the table for now.

Reow Mon 22-May-17 13:07:48

When he's cycle commuting home and it's raining I put a towel and his joggers in the tumble dryer for 5 mins so they're nice and warm when he get's in.

I also (total cheesy loser) when making him a pie do his initials in pastry for the lid. Cringe.

GreenHairDontCare Mon 22-May-17 13:07:54

Live the heart shape sarnies idea! Can definitely do that.

Carolinethebrave Mon 22-May-17 13:08:31

I recently picked some flowers from our garden and put them on his side of the bed with a wrote a tiny card that said "it'll all be ok, I love you, thank you" and he said it made him feel very cherished smile

MrsHathaway Mon 22-May-17 13:08:54

Ah well in that case the most important thing you to do reduce his burden is take the very best care of yourself that you can - by excellent nutrition, good sleep hygiene, self-care, therapy (if appropriate) etc etc.

GreenHairDontCare Mon 22-May-17 13:09:08

I love that Reow.

Carolinethebrave Mon 22-May-17 13:09:41

And I also text him to tell him I love and appreciate him

GreenHairDontCare Mon 22-May-17 13:09:55

I like the idea of little notes. I think I'll start doing that. I already randomly text him sweet nothings blush

GreenHairDontCare Mon 22-May-17 13:11:08

Yep MrsH I'm well on top of that, I work really hard at keeping myself in the best possible MH. It's a full time job in itself smile

whyohwhyy Mon 22-May-17 13:13:09

I bought my partner a coffee cup that you are able to write on (the ink dries and then fully washes off with a quick wipe)I write little messages on it. Not everyday otherwise it becomes normal. But at random moment.

MrsHathaway Mon 22-May-17 13:13:38

There you go! So don't forget to add that to your list.

flowers

user1491572121 Mon 22-May-17 13:14:19

You don't need to apologise for not working OP! It's got nothing to do with your OP. People should butt out!

With my DH, I rub his shoulders and make naan bread by hand even though it's a long and boring job! He does a lot for me too.

Gah81 Mon 22-May-17 13:18:21

I make up funny (I like to think so, anyway!) dirty/silly limericks for my DP when he's feeling a bit stressed and under it.

Limericks are incredibly straightforward to produce (especially when you give up on them ever scanning!).

I will also occasionally send him a little random text telling him I love him or a few kisses or similar.

ZiggyForever Mon 22-May-17 13:18:42

I'm laughing away to myself, thinking about the expression DP would have on his face if he pulled heart-shaped sandwiches out at work. He'd be mortified grin

RebornSlippy Mon 22-May-17 13:20:12

Alright, user, settle down now! Butt out indeed... When I read this, I thought it was an obvious suggestion. Her partner works 60 hours a week, she's at home, kids are at school, how can she make his life easier? No brainer. Work, earn money and allow him to cut back a bit.

Anyway, by the by, the OP can't do the obvious thing, so here we are with heart shaped sandwiches and sweet texts. Whatever works!

GreenHairDontCare Mon 22-May-17 13:22:47

grin I think little soppy gestures would really make him smile.

And it's nice to hear what other people do.

rizlett Mon 22-May-17 13:23:03

write a message on his lunch box banana? grin

ButtonMushroomEx Mon 22-May-17 13:25:22

I make his favourite cake and slice it up and wrap in foil for his morning tea break.

I give him a massage at bedtime especially the neck and shoulders where he carries all the stress.

He does this for me too 😉

user1491572121 Mon 22-May-17 13:30:21

Reborn settle down yourself! hmm Don't patronise me...you're not superior for suggesting she get a job so stop acting all high and mighty.

GoodDayToYou Mon 22-May-17 13:31:01

Notes and little presents (like sweets) under the pillow - dp and I both do this and it's lovely.

joannegrady90 Mon 22-May-17 13:31:31

This may go down like a lead balloon but...

I'd give him space you're already doing all the jobs and texting him sweet nothings.
Focus on getting yourself better maybe buy him some beers and send him it with the lads?

You sound lovely though op!

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