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How to do dating after split?

(20 Posts)
AuClairDeLune Mon 22-May-17 00:59:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AuClairDeLune Mon 22-May-17 06:49:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shayelle Mon 22-May-17 07:29:39

Wow!! Chill out and go have lunch with him. Enjoy yourself!!

Trills Mon 22-May-17 07:40:04

There's a good chance he doesn't want to date you.

If he's not your type then you don't want to date him anyway.

If you would like to meet up with him as "a colleague you'd like to have lunch with" then do.

If you wouldn't not like to meet up with him then don't.

Trills Mon 22-May-17 07:41:23

It's normal just after a breakup to be panicking and thinking that everything is about sex. Everything is not about sex. You'll calm down a bit in a while.

PaintingByNumbers Mon 22-May-17 07:48:20

hmmm are you sure a work colleague in the midst of a divorce is the best place to start? I'd steer clear tbh.

user1486956786 Mon 22-May-17 07:48:51

Relax :-) coffee/lunch is definitely not pre planning for sex.

Just go and enjoy yourself.

He may have just enjoyed chatting to someone who gets what he's going through. Or he may want to get to know you more. No harm in either of those :-)

Smeaton Mon 22-May-17 07:50:00

How long is respectable?

Who cares? You're single, it's booked business.
If the man likes you and you like him and it comes up in conversation then I'd say go for it.

If it's been a sexless and loveless marriage for a while I'd say you deserve some fun.

AuClairDeLune Mon 22-May-17 12:04:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AuClairDeLune Thu 25-May-17 21:58:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Smeaton Thu 25-May-17 22:27:02

Firstly There is no normal so forget that.

Nextly. < a great word I just invented, stop worrying so much. smile go with the flow a little. If he tries to take thins to where you do t want to go then just say so, slow him down, etc.

If you like him and he likes you, I would really suggest just rolling with it, enjoy it, take it at your pace and enjoy it. If he wants to go too quick, slow him down, a decent man will go at our pace. Try not too worry grin

AuClairDeLune Thu 25-May-17 22:51:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Smeaton Thu 25-May-17 22:57:00

You now what though?
All them worries don't matter.

Think about the here and now.
Don't worry about what math happen, what could happen, what the man is feeling, what the man is thinking etc etc etc.

Basically, don't worry about the calories whilst you're eating the cake. Does that make sense?
Just enjoy cake whilst you're eating it.

(Also. Stop worrying about age. Ten years is a blink. He obviously enjoys your company or he wouldn't pursue it. Why wouldn't he enjoy the company of a woman who has a life to tell, experience to share and a warmth and light to give?)

outabout Thu 25-May-17 23:03:35

Surely you would be telling your DCs with the prospect of a date to 'calm down and stay away from sex'. Sex isn't obligatory!

AuClairDeLune Thu 25-May-17 23:04:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AuClairDeLune Thu 25-May-17 23:05:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Smeaton Thu 25-May-17 23:26:30

I'd say that nothing is obligatory. There is only what you want to happen.

But I can't get cake out of my head. Is 11.30pm too late to have a big bit of Victoria sponge? wink

Changedname3456 Fri 26-May-17 00:25:22

I think he'll make it pretty clear what his intentions are after the concert. He'll either suggest another obvious "date" activity or it'll go back to being lunch.

Clearly he likes spending time with you and if he fancies you too then so what? Do as much or as little with him as you're comfortable with. If you decide you don't want sex / a relationship then just say you're flattered but it's too soon for you and that you'd like to stick with friendship.

outabout Fri 26-May-17 08:50:46

Hope you get on your date and feel OK to say 'no' whenever you get to your 'boundaries', or as you are feeling delicate, maybe a step 'before' the boundary.You say you are moving out soon (from previous relationship) I think go on this date and then play cool until you are actually moved out. Changedname has said it all really.

TreeTop7 Sat 27-May-17 20:03:33

Enjoy yourself! He's obviously keen.

Ten years is not a significant gap. The only issue could be his wanting children and your being unable/unwilling to have more, but that's a conversation for further down the line. Have fun for now, he sounds super.

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