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He's just walked away and my world has fell apart

(7 Posts)
Stripesandsprinkles Fri 19-May-17 14:35:25

I was with my partner 2 years and we were best friends and so so happy togther(or so I thought) we rarely argued and just had such a bond I'm 23 and he's 21 when we first met I was worried about his age but he assured me he was mature and ready for tie and wanted a life with me (I know I should have known better) and he proved it to me over the years(or so I thought) him and my daughters who is 5 had such a bond they loved each other to bits. Last week he was talking about how he knew how he was going to propose to me and then 2 days later he turned round and said he loves me but he's to young for a serious relationship and he wants to be young and care free and experiance things(which I assume means sleeping with other people) and he's just walked away I'm devastated I can't eat I can't sleep I can barely function I just never saw this coming I'm totally Brocken how could he do this? How can he not feel a hole in his life where me and my daughter were he's just been so emotionless like we meant nothing to him but I just need advice or comfort I don't know is it best to just try and distract myself? Or let myself feel the emotions and let myself hurt? How long will I take to me to stop feeling this way? The thought of him with someone else kills me! How do I explain this to my daughter one day he was here now he's gone he originally asked for 2 weeks to decide if he wanted to be with me or not but I said I couldn't torture myself he wanted to be with me or he didn't and he chose not to be I'm just in total shock I'm trying to stay strong in regards with not phoning or texting him and letting him think I'm fine and not falling apart at least that way I still have my pride I just said I hope it's worh losing the 2 best things that will ever happen to you

hellsbellsmelons Fri 19-May-17 14:45:02

I'm so sorry you are going through this.
It is totally and utterly awful.
There is no way we can make you feel better now.
But.... hundreds of us on here have been through similar.
It's hell.
You feel like your heart has been ripped out, broken into a million pieces, thrown on the floor and stomped all over.
It is like a real physical pain.
We can all tell you it will be OK, because it will.
It will take time though.
It will take help and support from friends and family.
It will take you looking after yourself.
I couldn't stomach solid food so sugary tea and ice-lollies got me through the first few weeks.
Maybe try soups and smoothies as well.
Right now you are in shock.
When that wears off you will crash - hard.
So ensure you keep yourself hydrated and your sugar levels up.
Real life support and time it was it takes.
Be kind to yourself. Try to keep busy.
There is not time limit.
After 15 years with my ExH it was a year before I started to feel like myself again.
I'm still hurting from my recent split in February.
It gets better slowly but surely
You will get there - I promise!

MatildaTheCat Fri 19-May-17 14:46:19

So sorry, it must hurt like hell but for him he's made the right decision. It doesn't feel right for you just now but it's better this way than a partner who gets resentful, starts going out all the time or cheats on you.

One day hopefully you will look back with affection at the nice times you had together.

Get support, cuddle your dd and be sad and then make some plans for the two of you and keep busy until the worst is over.

ThePinkOcelot Fri 19-May-17 14:49:13

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way OP. I'm not surprised you are devastated. However, in his defence he has been honest and not messed you around.
You are very young too. Do you not want to live a bit, go out with your friends and have some fun? Probably not at the moment, but I advise you to think about it.
It's just going to take time, as cliched as that is. Hugs to you x

jouu Fri 19-May-17 14:55:59

You will feel better. I know that doesn't help at the minute but it's the truth, you will feel better. Just keep busy, don't contact him, and time will set you right. I'm sorry this happened, it really is excruciating.

Pandamanda3 Fri 19-May-17 14:56:16

Op it was 18 years for me although I initiated the divorse I still really loved him and didn't want to loose him, I just knew he didn't want it. he was an absolute narsasist was arrested for dv but I still find myself heart broken now 2years on.
Somedays are better than others but you will slowly begin to see you and your daughter are worth so much more.

Iv no doubt he'll come back tail between his legs but you've got to be firm and not let him do this again, don't be caught off guard and keep a wall up. Time is a great healer, you will get there.
Could you maybe tell your dc he's had to go away to work tell her something nice so it lessens the heart ach for her too. And keep him at arms length you deserve better my love!

TheNaze73 Fri 19-May-17 15:44:48

This will seem like shit for now but, will get better.

At 21, he was way too young to be saying things like that. Most men haven't got a clue about what they really want until their 30's.

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