I was in a relationship for about 5 years which ended mid last year. It was a really hard break up but I wanted to get married and have children and he didn't, so we went our seperate ways. I am so glad to have been strong and not settled for something that wouldn't have worked out long term but it took me a fucking long time to get over it.
A few months ago I met someone from work in an overseas office. We spent a few days together and really like each other, then we spent weeks chatting back and forth and decided we were going to try and work out giving it a go. Because of my previous relationship I was open about what I wanted going forward, and he has a young son from a previous relationship and so was honest about what he wanted too (more children etc). I felt like it was a really positive conversation to both be up front about what we wanted longer term (not necessarily with each other, just life goals) so we were both on the same page. I went over there for a week and it was truly incredible, we had so much fun, spent the whole time having such a lovely time in each other's company. We spoke about how we could make it work longer term, how we had fallen in love with each other etc etc. All good.
When I returned home it was just as nice for a while, then the conversation starting petering out. He was really busy with work, or spending time with his son etc. Then, he called me one day and said he needed some time to work things out with work and his ex wife was moving to a different part of the country so he needed to know where so he could work out custody and seeing his son etc. I was fairly understanding and said fine, take the time, do what you need to do.
A few days later we spoke again and he said the situation was the same but how much he missed me etc. Fast forward one week and I haven't heard a bean. He hasn't even been on whatsapp to pick up the one message I've sent him.
I can only assume that he made grand plans and gestures that he felt, but when other life stress came on he realised that this long distance thing was one thing too many. I reckon that as time went on it became more difficult to talk to me and to end it so he's taken the cowards way out of ghosting me.
Note - I have no reason at all to think he is secretly married or anything like that.
I just don't know what to do. It really hurts at being messed around again especially when he had said so many nice things to me and made such plans for the future. I want to send him an email that details how I feel and how he's made me feel by being ghosted, and to say that I'm better than this (paraphrasing) basically. I feel like there is no closure this way. And I want to know why this has happened.
Mostly though I'm just tired of dating. Having such a tough break up then meeting someone, falling in love with them, finding it so easy and trusting them just for them to stamp on my heart again is so hard.
Any words of wisdom or hugs please? Please go easy, I'm feeling very fragile about this just now
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Relationships
Been dicked around. Again.
QueenMortificado · 19/05/2017 10:18
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