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separated from DH for 18 months but he's tried to get me back

(6 Posts)
nanna14 Thu 18-May-17 18:39:08

continually and then i find within days of moving out he met else & organised his entire life around this other woman, even visits with kids/holidays etc and I mean the entire year. Understand as we were separated but he's kept me 'out there' trying to make it work saying there was no one else, he would change, let's move house etc. etc.. When the other woman put pressure on him, he in turn took it out on me, and since I found out six weeks ago he's now discarded her and wants to carry on with happy families with me. Even told me she reminded him of me ! She kindly sent me ALL the correspondence on emails, whatsapps & specifics. Think in her naivety she assumed he would hurry up and divorce me but he's not. I was willing to give it a try after a year break as we've been together for 24 years but this was before I knew of the other woman. It's very intense stuff, planning to move in together, holdiays all booked around her. I feel like a complete & total fool as appears lots of people knew of her & I kept being convinced by him & we both agreed we needed space. Found out entirely by chance - don't we always! Now more confused than I was beforehand as I was just starting to get on with my life. Anyone else out there had a similar experience? It's not something one can openly discuss with friends as I feel so foolish for beleiving all his lies.

scoobydoo1971 Thu 18-May-17 22:29:08

I would recommend stepping back and doing some serious thinking before considering going back to him. He moved onto this woman very quickly, and now it has not worked out he is escalating pressure on you to try again. I don't think you can trust him, his intentions or how he has handled the situation with the other woman. You have to remember that you split up for a reason, and now another nail in the coffin is this revelation.

inlectorecumbit Thu 18-May-17 22:46:12

Don't go there..
If the OW hadn't put the pressure on he would still be playing you off against the other.
You have been his back up plan all along in case things didn't work out. He deliberately kept you in the dark about OW existence despite others knowing.

HIG70 Fri 19-May-17 07:13:38


You you shouldn't be. It's a clear one for me. Get rid, get on with your life and find some real happiness.

LipSparkle Fri 19-May-17 07:21:08

It sounds, from what you've written, like he can't be on his own. He sets up house with OW straight away then when he realises he doesn't want that he goes back to what is familiar i.e. you. Work out what you want and go from there. Sounds like you were starting to be happy without him and now he's 'back' you're confused rather than happy.

Adora10 Fri 19-May-17 14:02:26

Why confused, he's a lying cheating arse and was keeping you on the back burner just in case; what a loser so lose him.

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