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Is my Dh a psychopath?

(17 Posts)
chocisnotsweet Thu 18-May-17 18:16:43

I know I cannot get a definite answer from people who have never met or a assessed my Dh but I just wondered if any of you could read through my list of how my Dh acts which I believe may be psychopathic traits and tell me what you think:

He had never in the 10 years I known him shed a tear. Not at his mother or cousins funeral, never.

He often thinks his way is the only/best way and everyone else's ideas are thrown aside.

He can be really angry one moment and the next minute be acting really silly and jokingly.

He's very obsessive over messes and cleanliness.

He lives a very structured day to day and struggles if it's altered.

These are a few things I've picked up on in the 10 years we have been together. At first I wasn't concerned but I'm recently starting to worry he may have some sort of illness. Thanks for reading.

NellieFiveBellies Thu 18-May-17 18:22:15

it's absolutely impossible for anyone to say. you will get some saying hell yeah ltb you will get some saying no. no doubt youll get some trotting out the old Could He Be On The Spectrum...
but the truth is that list says nothing. sorry.
the only way for you/him to know is if he sees professionals.

RebelRogue Thu 18-May-17 18:23:31

No. HTH.
However it's very telling that you assume psychopath rather than any other neurological disorders like OCD,ASD etc.

He might just be a controlling,set in his way twat.

WaitingYetAgain Thu 18-May-17 19:23:15

It might make more sense or be more telling if you explained how his behaviour impacts you. What does he do to you or that causes you to wonder?

Some of the things you mention are more suggestive of other problems.

PoorYorick Thu 18-May-17 19:33:51

On these behaviours alone, no. It's refreshing to see an alternative to narcissistic personality disorder, though, which is apparently the fashion now for anyone slightly selfish or antisocial.

Not all unpleasant people have a clinically diagnosable personality disorder. Sometimes people are just twats.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow Thu 18-May-17 19:34:33

No clue, but he sounds a pain to live with.

lizzyj4 Thu 18-May-17 19:40:25

It's impossible to say from such a short list. A lot of people are selfish/moody/jerks or some combination of these. It doesn't make them psychopaths, it just makes them selfish/moody/jerks.

If he's doing things that make you unhappy or uncomfortable that's all that's important, you don't need to give it a name.

Bluntness100 Thu 18-May-17 19:44:38

Based on that list he wouldn't be considered a physcopafh, no. Google what a physcopafh is. He does sound quite uptight, controlled and unbending though.

farfarawayfromhome Thu 18-May-17 19:49:38

Aside from not shedding a tear I could tick off everything on that list! I assure you I am not a psychopath.

I really must relax more....

Barbaro Thu 18-May-17 19:58:59

Ok psychopathy is not an illness, its more like a brand of personality. People like to think of it as being a defect, but I dont. Most CEO's of large, very successful companies are psychopaths. A psychopath is very charming, you're unlikely to pick up on it because of how charming they are, you'd never believe they could be one. Its why Ted Bundy was so 'successful'. They are also reckless, impulsive, they find it very easy to lie, manipulative, no remorse at all, empathy isnt even switched on in their brain, it doesnt register. They are not aggressive, they arent murderers, they arent dangerous. They certainly dont have to be a criminal. But again, even having these traits doesnt mean they are one. You have to score I think 32 out of 40 on the scale that is used to measure psychopathy. Most normal people will score very low, maybe as high as 5. My best friend from uni who I suspected was one so we decided to do the test as a laugh. Had to take it for her as she started lying on it, the first giveaway.

Your husband has OCD at the very least, maybe mild autism, but to be honest I think all people have a form of autism, it just doesnt register on the spectrum. For example, a symptom of autism is to read the same book over and over again. I have done this since I was able to read. But I dont register high enough because its one of the few things I do.

childmaintenanceserviceinquiry Thu 18-May-17 20:01:55

There is a list of attributes for psychopaths. Approx 27 from memory. It includes sexual deviant behaviour, animal abuse etc. Google it. The checklist is from research in the 1950/60s. Thought my ex fit the bill for a while but some of the attributed behaviours are very extreme.

So research narcissistic behaviour, abusive behaviour etc.

user1486199588 Thu 18-May-17 20:08:31

The common traits psychopaths have are that they do not feel remorse or guilt. They don't have the same 'feelings' as non-psychopaths which is perhaps why they are impulsive and can be deceitful and engage in criminal behaviours: to gain a thrill or to 'feel' something.

It could be that your husband has Aspergers' Syndrome, which is on the autistic spectrum. However if your husband regularly lies (to you or anyone else), doesn't have normal 'feelings', acts recklessly, pushes the boundaries sexually, is very charming etc, I would read up on psychopaths to see whether he fits the profile. If he does have psychopathic traits, it doesn't mean he will do anything mean or wrong. It just means that he won't feel guilt or remorse if he does.

manueltowers Thu 18-May-17 20:39:59

Have a read of "The Psychopath Test" by Jon Ronson.

Psychopathy is fairly common - especially in CEO's and surgeons, apparently. It doesn't mean you're a bad person if you are a psychopath, your brain is just wired differently.

There was a man in the book who studied psychopaths and upon doing the test, realised he was one, but managed to keep his more extreme thoughts/behaviours in check, likely thanks to his solid upbringing.

It's a very interesting read, some of the stuff really stuck with me.

Flopjustwantscoffee Thu 18-May-17 23:31:49

It's also a bit misleading to think that someone who behaves appallingly is a phsychopath, since "good" people can have very strong internal moral codes about how they treat people, but if their definition of "people" doesn't include women/their partner/etc then life with them is likely to be problematic. Surely what matters is if he is a good partner to you. If he is then he probably isn't a psychopath. If he isn't (especially to the point of being abusive) then he still probably isn't a psychopath although it is perhaps more likely but that isn't the point anyway...

YokoReturns Fri 19-May-17 00:02:27

Google 'OCPD' OP.

chocisnotsweet Fri 19-May-17 06:35:11

Ok so maybe He doesn't have as many psychopathic traits as I thought. Yoko I've looked that up and he does have a few symptoms of that. I never had even heard of ocpd before now.

YokoReturns Fri 19-May-17 07:11:47

OP someone mentioned it to me on here once - I think my PIL have it. Most people just think 'oh they're a bit rigid and fussy' but I think it can be hard to live with.

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