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How the heck do you date as a lone parent?

(13 Posts)
tantrumtime Wed 17-May-17 10:12:02

Hi all

Ive been a lone parent for nearly 4 years now. I work part time, study part time and my ex has the DC EOW (saturday lunchtime - sunday tea time).

Im at the stage now where i think i might like to try and meet someone but i have no idea how to go about it! I wont meet anyone at work and i dont have any real hobbies, i keep fit (swimming, running) but do this alone or occasionally with a school mom friend. Im an introvert and fine in my own company, i usually spend my 2 child free nights a month drinking red wine and watching films, occasionally i will go out with a friend.

I just feel like life is passing me by and i want to do something about it.

I do have friends but because of my lack of free time i have become something of a 'back up' friend who they like to sit with and moan to about their lives (i dont moan back because i have nothing to moan about so im like an unpaid counsellor!) but are reluctant to invite me to any nights out, and they are all couples so go out together and i feel horribly left out. (I am gradually cutting contact to be honest)

Ive never done any OLD before, im a bit wary about it. How do i organise a relationship with someone when i can only commit to 2 nights a month!! My children are still young (reception & year1) so they are my main priority.

Any tips or hints?? Perhaps i should just wait a few years??

tantrumtime Wed 17-May-17 12:03:52

oh god - i just went on match.com for a free look around and it looks like OLD is going to be so time consuming!!!

noego Wed 17-May-17 12:41:22

Try OKC. Ask for friends, short term and long term dating. Post profile and let message come in. Delete and block all messages/messengers you are uncomfortable with and study the rest.

HildaOg Wed 17-May-17 13:53:49

Old is great. Plenty of fish is the best free site, haven't used match so I don't know what it's like.

The thing with old is you can specify exactly what you want and see what others are looking for before chatting. I would suggest always video call before meeting, the catfishers and non serious people will always make excuses not to, so block. You'll be able to see face to face whether you like each other before going through the hassle of meeting (which can be hard if you're a lp).

You have every second Saturday free so that can be your date night, do you have anybody to babysit at other times?

MyheartbelongstoG Wed 17-May-17 14:15:38

Can ex have kids more?

angelcakerocks Wed 17-May-17 14:28:32

Can you try something like meetup so that you can meet several people at once, and if there's no men you like there at least can make new women friends to go out with?
I do understand though and don't date now as I don't have enough time for it tbh.

tantrumtime Wed 17-May-17 14:42:42

Thanks for all your replies

I do have my parents who could babysit, i could probably ask them to have them on a friday once every few months as they both still work full time in stressful jobs and as my DC are still quite young they can be a handful.

Ex wont have them more, ive had to fight for EOW and have to do all dropping off and picking up.

I will have a look at plenty of fish, i know someone who has a successful relationship after meeting someone one there. Other tips are fab.

Whats OKC noege?

Not heard of meetup so will definately have a look at that, new women friends would be great too. I just want to broaden my horizons/better my life

noego Wed 17-May-17 14:52:07

Ok Cupid OP. You can join FOC.

tantrumtime Wed 17-May-17 20:08:03

Thank you all - ill have a glass of wine saturday night to get brave then start making a profile!!

tantrumtime Wed 17-May-17 20:55:06

Just had a look at OKC and realised i need a username and profile message. bloody hell! best wait until im feeling a bit more witty.

jeaux90 Wed 17-May-17 21:04:11

Single mum too and I did the OLD for a few years. Been off it as I'm seeing someone for the last year. It's fun! Just be careful, make sure they are who they say they are (lots of catfish out there) and be sure to speak to them on the phone before agreeing to a date. X

UmaTherma87 Wed 17-May-17 21:15:31

Try Bumble - you can't get messages from guys the women have to message first so it weans out a lot of creeps x

Bant Wed 17-May-17 21:23:42

Join the dating thread on here too - lots of people going through the same stuff as you. (It's just a dating advice thread, no actual dating of people on there)

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2931210-The-Dating-Thread-118-Online-and-real-life-dating-advice

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