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Brothers relationship makes me uncomfortable

(8 Posts)
IWantACheeseburger Tue 16-May-17 20:35:38

Back story is that our parents our divorced, basically because they didn't get on anymore. We aren't close to our Mother, as she wasn't really around much growing up and although I am fairly friendly with her now my brother has always been stand offish.

Anyway, he has always gone out with older women(he's 30) but recently has started dating someone who is 60. The same age as our Mother.
I am really finding it hard not to be creeper out by the whole thing. She even reminds me of my Mother and they spend time doing day trips to placed my Mother loves to go to (stately homes etc) the kind of things my brother always slated her for.
He has also decided to go NC with our Mother at the same time so in my view it's like he is trying to replace her?!

I don't know it's just very weird and I'm trying to be ok with it as my brother and I are close. But I find myself avoiding him as I don't want to be around the two of them.

Has anyone been in a similar situation?! Am I being really horrible about this?

SandyY2K Tue 16-May-17 20:47:18

Sounds like he has 'mummy issues' and prefers older women, possibly reminding him of the lack of a healthy motherly relationship.

It is somewhat creepy TBH.

Ginkypig Tue 16-May-17 23:16:54

He is an adult and who he chooses to be in a relationship with is entirely his own business (If he's not in an abusive situation obviously)

In my opinion As his sister he deserves your support, you don't need to understand it but you should respect it.

His relationship with your/his mother seems to be blurring the issue, it might be a factor but it could also have nothing to do with it.

Aquamarine1029 Wed 17-May-17 00:13:51

He's not doing anything wrong and who he has relationships with is none of your business. Just love him and stay close.

MyheartbelongstoG Wed 17-May-17 13:52:01

Support your brother op.

If he's happy it doesn't matter what they do together or what age they are.

user1479302027 Wed 17-May-17 14:02:29

She might be going to stately homes because she is 60, rather than because she is like your mother?

I sympathise - my brother's wife looks just like my (awful) mother, and it freaks me out. I can hardly look at her! Do not tell him your thoughts - I know if I told my db I would be responsible for all sorts of matrimonial complications. Try and laugh it off. It is meeting some need

mogratpineapple Wed 17-May-17 21:25:31

My sister married a man (her boss) who is old enough to be her dad and actually looks like our dad. Nobody seems to think it's odd. Maybe because he's rich?

I think you should support him even if he has issues, they're not your issues x

FrenchMartiniTime Thu 18-May-17 07:33:59

Definite mummy issues!

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