Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Ex refusing to acknowledge financial proposal from solicitor

(11 Posts)
acarnamedwanda Tue 16-May-17 16:58:40

I have started divorce proceedings against my STBXH. A financial proposal has been drawn up on my behalf from my solicitor and sent to his for him to clarify and respond.

This has been going on for around two months now- no acknowledgment, no response, nothing. When I have messaged him to chase it up, I get no reply.

How long can he go on like this for? There is no reason for any of this to be dragged out. If there was something he didn't agree with, then why not just say? I imagine he is dragging it out just to be a prat, but surely there must be some time limit to ensure that all parties can at some point move forward?

ineedsummer1 Tue 16-May-17 17:07:43

My partner has been going on like this for 2 yrs. its now at court stage and thousands spent on solicitors each side. It could easily be resolved if they wanted and both could then get on with thei lives. it's called control.

BillericayDuckie Tue 16-May-17 18:16:15

Yep. All about control. My ExH did not engage at all and dragged the process out as long as possible. 3 years and a full court process to final hearing - not to mention thousands of pounds in legal fees for us both. Thankfully the court decision was in my favour, so it was worth it.

acarnamedwanda Tue 16-May-17 18:57:27

Oh no sad the thought of this being dragged out so long makes me feel sick.

He was an abusive man, emotionally and physically. Funnily enough I never even thought that it was the control thing. Now it makes perfect sense.

withaspongeandarustyspanner Tue 16-May-17 18:59:45

Mine is doing this too.

FizzyGreenWater Tue 16-May-17 19:27:30

Very little you can do except try and box clever on him. A friend did this and got things moving a little. She changed tack with the messages:

'It would be good to get things moving but I do understand it must be upsetting and frightening for you to go forward.'

'It is natural to cling on, you shouldn't feel ashamed of that, but I do think you'll feel better once this is dealt with'.

'If this really is too hard then maybe think of counselling? My solicitor says this kind of delay is a more common trait in very dependent ex-partners and that you might need more support, have you considered this?'

Etc.

grin

nicknameofawesome Tue 16-May-17 19:37:06

fizzy that's absolutely genius.

Sorry you are going through this OP. Hope he starts moving. I think fizzes friends idea may be the way to go. Passive aggressive taking back control.

acarnamedwanda Tue 16-May-17 19:39:59

Genius idea! Absolutely love it! grin

acarnamedwanda Tue 16-May-17 19:40:57

Haha actually laughing out loud at this. There was once a time I wouldn't ever have dreamed of trying this, but now I'm all for it. Here goes.... grin

FizzyGreenWater Tue 16-May-17 21:11:23

Ha yes it was inspired! Obviously you make it realistic to your situ OP- whatever presses the buttons and not over-egged.

She quickly went from nothing to him ranting about how he couldn't wait to see the back of it all and BAM decree nisi or whatever it was.... thankyouverymuchgoodnight 😂😂😂 Bwah hah hah

JK1773 Tue 16-May-17 22:06:41

That's absolute genius grin

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now