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Men. Are any immune to ego boosts and attentions from other women??

(19 Posts)
TwuntTown Mon 15-May-17 23:04:17

Long story short. Bloke I was seeing 3/4 times a week for 18 months finished things out of the blue last week. I know people say that it is never out the blue but it has completly blindsided me. Right up till the end he was still so attentive, chatting every night if we didn't get together and making plans for summer. Got the bullshit talk from him of me deserving better, he's too old for me & we never get much time together etc.
At this point I should add that he did have mentionitis the last couple of months about another woman. Must have been hedging his bets with her.

Been alone for 7 yrs since wanker exh until this bloke. Similar scenario happened during our marriage whilst I was pregnant, another woman, mentionitis began and exh and his ego couldn't refuse her charms! I won't live like this and left exh after much heartbreak. Life has been so difficult though, he has left me in financial mess, pays no maintenance either to add salt to the wound (self employed angry ) and never has for our 2 children, nor does he ever see them. He asked me what was the point sadangry

Anyway, i've gone off on a tangent! I'm so upset about my more recent relationship ending. Within days of his talk of its not you, it's me hmm He has been seen a few times with this other woman who he had developed mentionitis about. I'm too old for this shit duplicitous behaviour! Self esteem is at an all time low.

Don't know what i'm asking. Just feeling so shit sad

LesisMiserable Tue 16-May-17 00:03:50

At least he didnt ghost you, he actually finished it. If you liked him no reason he gave would have made it better. I cant see what he's done wrong really except (I'm sorry) go off you and onto someone else. I know its shit but it happens. flowers

LoveforPGTipsMonkey Tue 16-May-17 00:28:54

I think what Op is asking is, how the heck to find a man who actually sticks to one woman DESPITE advances from other women (we are not talking about men who don't get interest from other women but can an attractive/desirable man stay loyal forever while getting offers? ( I'm wondering the same, OP. Tbh I think not unless he got married/partnered late in life maybe - and it's shit as really you can't really plan any future with men.
Mind you, your ex is unusual even within that - quite a bastard not wanting to see his DC!

LoveforPGTipsMonkey Tue 16-May-17 00:30:14

sorry some words on repeat there - too late for me!

TDHManchester Tue 16-May-17 05:45:50

Mentionitis..? Hahaha ,,

What can you do? Move on and stalk you next prey..

LesisMiserable Tue 16-May-17 09:23:57

I don't think there is a man or woman alive who doesnt enjoy being admired (from afar) by members of the opposite sex. However if a person is open to advances all it means is that they are are in the wrong relationship and in rarer cases just not a monogamous person by nature. Not every guy you date falls into the latter character, no matter what we might want to believe.

mrholmes Tue 16-May-17 09:27:01

I can't see what he's done wrong either apart from maybe string you along until something better came along. Not ideal but both men and women have been guilty of this.

Why make it into something bigger than it is. You had a relationship and it ended. That's about it really.

tammytheterminator Tue 16-May-17 09:35:45

It hurts but there are decent men out there.

Just be glad that you weren't living with him or married. You are free to do what you want to do. A good one will turn up when you least expect it. Just relax and remain hopeful.

user1479302027 Tue 16-May-17 09:45:48

I am immune, and so are my close friends. You just need to find a better stamp of person. Keep heart

TwuntTown Tue 16-May-17 10:45:50

Thanks for your replies. Les I know what you are saying is true that there are monogamous men out there but I think given half a chance so so many will always think they are entitled to shag around if the opportunity arises!

mrholmes I really didn't feel like I was being strung along and I'm not naive to realise that people can detatch in relationships before moving on to the next. But there was no 'cooling down' period in the weeks/days before and that is what is so hurtful!

LesisMiserable Tue 16-May-17 11:07:33

If there had been a 'cooling down' would you have ended it, honestly? Or would the outcome have been the same? I'm on the fence whether short sharp shock is better than slow withdrawal.

TwuntTown Tue 16-May-17 11:24:18

I think it is much easier and kinder to just gradually drift apart, cancel dates etc to be honest Les if you are having interest in someone else and waiting to see if they feel the same like is clearly what happened here.

I feel such a fool though and somewhat dirty and used!! 2 days before he ended it he bought me new lingerie hmm confused

LesisMiserable Tue 16-May-17 11:41:35

Aww I get you. Don't feel used. Easy to say, I know. Enjoy your free lingerie if anything 😁

LesisMiserable Tue 16-May-17 11:42:05

How much is the age difference btw

TwuntTown Tue 16-May-17 11:58:21

He is nine years older Les. I'm no naive spring chicken as I'm 40 sad
Exh was over 10 years older. I wonder if older men get panicky that they haven't played the field enough?!

Yes, will enjoy the lingerie anyway, silly fool never even got to see me in it grin

LesisMiserable Tue 16-May-17 12:07:38

His loss grin

yetmorecrap Tue 16-May-17 12:54:42

I think quite a lot are not necessarily out for sexual liaisons but do enjoy the buzz of thinking someone else is interested and often play along with stuff they really should not. Playing with fire really. In this case, what an idiot, why not just say, this isnt working for me , I really want to be able to see other people. I do think a lot of men in particular are real cowards on that front.

TheNaze73 Tue 16-May-17 13:05:22

I think, that if men & women who are genuinely happy in relationships, they don't get their heads turned.
And I agree with yetmore, it's not necessarily about sexual liaisons but, sometimes needy people want an ego boost.

DavidYucke Tue 16-May-17 13:18:13

I wonder about the same thing op, and I'm married to a nice guy and yet could see him falling for an ego boost.

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