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Am i being a mug?

(7 Posts)
Nipplesunited Mon 15-May-17 20:56:46

Ive recently received a message from a friend with benefit i had a couple of month ago.
Hes in a bad place and needed a friend. Me being me...i didnt say no to letting him get a few things off his chest. He was seriously depressed so id of felt awful had i of just ignored him.

It seems he thinks i have other plans. I made it clear i was offended by this, as i really was just being a friend.
It was me who ended things as i was developing feelings. Not big ones, (it hadnt been long), but if i felt anything i was going to end it. Which i did. I feel absolutely nothing for him on that level now.

Im now wondering why he came to me in the first place. Is it him who has other plans? Was he saying this to get a feel of how i would react to the idea?
Am i a mug for offering to be a friend when he was in need of one?

Im not going back there in that sense. Yet i get the feeling he thinks i would.
I never gave any indication that i would. I didnt let him come to my home. I met him in public, never got close to him. Spoke to him about his issues. Then parted ways with just a goodbye.
I still feel kind of like an idiot.
Was i stupid for trying to be a friend?

m4rdybum Mon 15-May-17 21:00:39

Sounds like he's just seeking comfort, and with your last arrangement though he could get it with you - even after you broke it off.

I would just firmly make sure he knows you're only there as a friendly fully clothed shoulder to cry on and that you value the friendship.

He'll get over it.

Notmyrealname85 Mon 15-May-17 21:01:21

I don't want to sound like a bitch but... You helped someone in need, a bloke who you've been pretty clear to that you only want to be friends and now he's projecting ideas that you two should date? He sounds like one of those "nice guys". You haven't done anything wrong! Just tell him you're sorry if he got the wrong end of the stick but you were only trying to be helpful

He's been pretty ungrateful tbh

SiouxieQ Mon 15-May-17 21:03:26

He was hoping for a shag, didn't get one and stropped off by projecting on to you.

Nipplesunited Mon 15-May-17 21:09:49

Yep that makes sense what all of you have said.
I agree with him being ungrateful and he did say sorry when he realised i was offended by it...but he did manage to get a few other remarks in suggesting i was only there for one reason.
I told him im just a message away if he needs another chat, but i will not message him.

TurnipCake Mon 15-May-17 21:19:26

You don't have to play nursemaid to someone just because they docked their ship in the port so to speak. He has other friends for that.

Nipplesunited Mon 15-May-17 21:43:28

With how he sounded, i felt he was desperate. Especially with coming to me. It seemed like he had no one else.
Im kind of wishing i had just left him to it now and just dealt with my guilt.
He couldnt have been feeling that bad for his mind to be jumping to thoughts like that anyway.
Then again, me jumping to help him out could very easily have looked that way i suppose

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