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Family solicitors duty of care

(15 Posts)
markb123 Mon 15-May-17 09:59:50

I'm not sure if this is a good topic to put this under, but does anyone know during a divorce whether family solicitors on both sides, yes they represent their client, but do they also have some ethic code for the welfare of the children?

I ask because my exW's solicitor is giving really tight deadlines and threatening court for everything. It has affected me in that all my assets are gone and my spending on legal fees has left me in debt. This will affect the ability for me to take care of my children when I have them. (I have them 40% of the time, as my exW refuses 50/50 access, basically in a cynical attempt to get more money - which worked in spades).

I want to report the solicitor as I feel I'm being helpful to the other side but they just add more money and more court appearances which doesn't seem to help anyone apart from her firm and her earnings

MrsBertBibby Mon 15-May-17 10:11:45

That's a good one. Please do report her. We can all use a laugh in these troubled and troubling times.

Isetan Mon 15-May-17 11:58:07

When you say ethical code towards the welfare of the children, what you actually mean is, towards you.

If you don't believe your solicitor is acting in your best interests you should change them.

LallanasInPyjamas Mon 15-May-17 15:32:21

raises eyebrow

Sounds like that's the solicitor you should have hired. More court appearances means they are necessary, believe it or not lawyers don't relish the idea of matters being dragged on and on.

But don't let that put you off complaining, I'm sure it will cheer them up no end hmm

Changedname3456 Mon 15-May-17 16:25:13

It sounds like the solicitor is being a twunt but probably not a lot you can do about it.

Not sure why all the PPs have instantly slated you - they obviously know a lot about you and the background without needing to actually be told. Spooky really, and nothing at all to do with you being a guy, I'm sure.

Unfortunately they're probably right in saying you won't get far with complaints. Solicitors, let alone their governing body (also solicitors) aren't worried about anything as troublesome as what's best for your DC. If they're not billing for their time then they're doing something wrong and if that means "bending" the truth or being hyper aggressive then that's what'll happen.

After all, little Petunia's or Sebastian's private school fees won't pay themselves you know.

Ellisandra Mon 15-May-17 16:31:33

What did your solicitor do about the 60/40 split for the children?

Tight deadlines are good, too tight deadlines are bad. What's the issue? During my divorce, there was only one thing (on his side or mine) that couldn't be decided or answered within a week, and that was providing CETVs for pensions as these were dependent on a third party. So I'm curious what is too tight.

Bottom line - her solicitor is acting for her, and I expect she believes in the children's interest.

It is up to your solicitor to deal with that.

greenberet Mon 15-May-17 23:24:01

Hi OP I'm an ex wife who had this from X' solicitors and X in an attempt to grind me down, use up a payout for breast cancer and basically destroy me. Every time something needed to be done for the financials x would throw up something to do with kids contact. Threatened me with court every time he didn't like something or want to agree to it.

I had to act for myself towards end and dealt with her direct. Her attitude towards me was disgusting even more so when I suffer with depression. She went out of her way to make things as difficult for me as possible and I believe lied over some issues.

They use language which makes them unaccountable. I doubt they give a stuff about your kids but will tell you of course they do. They are out to get as much fee income as possible whilst leading you down a garden path.

I have a complaint against my solicitor and will be making a complaint against X' solicitor. For some reason they think they are untouchable but in my opinion they are crooks in suits. There may be some decent ones out there but from my experience it was a costly farce.

Try and get a recommendation and check yours out on here

I found out too late someone else had a bad experience too

kittybiscuits Mon 15-May-17 23:28:28

You sound so concerned about your children hmm

Bellaposy Mon 15-May-17 23:32:08

Your ex wife's solicitor acts in her best interests and on her instructions. It's your ex wife's responsibility along with yours to act in the best interests of your children. If the process is costing you money you would rather spend on your children, come to an amicable agreement where you don't need to spend money on lawyers.

Changedname3456 Tue 16-May-17 08:45:10

Bellaposy how easy you make it all sound. Lucky you for to be living in such a Utopian paradise.

In the real world, OP's wife is likely to be the one pushing everything via the legal system. Whatever OP did to deserve (at least in his stbx eyes) this, it's unlikely to actually be in their DC's LTI.

Bankrupting your ex may be satisfying from a petty, spiteful POV, but it will ultimately affect what the kids get in the longer term, the quality of their access with the other parent and the ONLY people who profit from it are the solicitors and their families.

markb123 Tue 16-May-17 10:19:38

Thanks Changedname for the positive and realistic comments.

I wasn't really going to post on this again, was just interested if registering a complaint would be possible. I'm having to deal with the solicitor directly, I am around £5,000 in debt as a result of everything, and x has around £130,000 cash plus a house. And I still get a bill of £1,200 to help her pay for her half of the divorce? Crazy.

Having no money means I won't be able to get much/any things for my children. Yes it's not the end of the world to have no money, although not sure how the living arrangements are going to work out.

But the system is set up so that yes my exW could take care of them 100% of the time now she has the money and the house. But 50/50 shared access would be great for them, I want more time with my children. Their response to suggestions of 50/50 was to suggest actually I should have them less, and go to a 75/25 split.

Ellisandra Tue 16-May-17 10:25:23

But when you posted before, you already had them 50/50. Courts generally favour the status quo if it's working for the children. When and why did that stop?

Who is the "their" in their response? Who said 75/25?

Have you actually got your Consent Order yet? It's very confusing, what stage you're at. If she has £130K cash it sounds like finances are done - yet the child arrangements aren't?! This has obviously has been going on for some time, which could explain why her solicitor is setting tight timelines and warning that non adherence would mean court.

MrsBertBibby Tue 16-May-17 11:01:35

If you are self representing, how is it costing you anything?

Offred Tue 16-May-17 12:52:11

50/50 is rarely 'great' for DC tbh. You mean it is what you want to happen I think.

I too am confused about where you are up to and what you are saying.

In the majority of cases (but not all I know) men are happy to leave childcare and housework to their wives until the marriage breaks down and then they spend time and money dragging everyone through the courts in many cases because they have a 'right to my children'.

Iamdobby63 Tue 16-May-17 17:49:28

You don't have to agree with everything her solicitor demands. Do you have your own solicitor or at least did you seek legal advice?

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