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Help depressed unhappy husband

(5 Posts)
user1477229112 Mon 15-May-17 08:59:08

My husband and I relocated 3 years ago as I got a fantastic job opportunity Near my family. As a result his family are now an hour and half plane journey away, and he is always telling me he hates living in the area and cannot wait to visit our home town. He claims he never wanted to go live near my parents and I basically forced him.

In the past three years he we have bought a house he has continued to work in the same place and even got promoted. We have a four year old and a new born and financially we are really doing well. From he outside looking in it seems we have everything going for us but my husband continues to say he is desperately unhappy but has made no attempts to look for further
Work in our home town.

I am at breaking point with him as he blames my family for our move and as a result I feel socially isolated it's embarrasing when they visit as it is so obvious he doesn't want them there. The relationship
Between my husband and my family is terrible he makes no effort and generally rants about how unhappy he is.

Ironically husbands brother and wife live ten minutes away and he is able to get on with them ok! I feel like I am constantly doing things to please my husband for example purchasing an expensive car which means he is happy for around three days and then the cycle starts again.

I am literally at the end of my tether with him and his behaviour trying to manage him my four year old and a newborn. I suspect he is depressed and won't do anything about it, I really want any help or advice about what I can do I am writing on here as I feel I have no one to talk to about my problems.

keepingonrunning Mon 15-May-17 13:07:06

He is responsible for his own happiness. It's not your job to tie yourself in knots trying to keep him happy and appease him.
If he truly loves you and DC he will visit his GP as a first port of call. If he refuses and blames all his 'problems' - real or manufactured - on you, you might want to reconsider your long term future together. Remember you have two children not three.
I notice his bad moods are being rewarded, with an expensive car for example. It's not surprising you want to ease the uncomfortable atmosphere. But is it healthy for your children to be around a stroppy manchild?

RunRabbitRunRabbit Mon 15-May-17 14:32:11

Stop trying to manage his happiness. Manage your own. For god's sake don't let yourself be socially isolated. If he behaves like a tit that reflects badly on him not you. You don't have to smooth things over or apologise for him.

You trying to solve his problems has not worked. Change plan. Treat him like a proper grown up man who can sort out his own problems. You might need to go so far as to stop listening to him whine: shut it down with a brisk "Have you decided what you are going to do?"

Wolfiefan Mon 15-May-17 14:34:18

Unless you held a gun to his head you really didn't force him to move?!
His choices are that he makes a life for himself where his family is now or move "home" alone.
I'm not sure this sounds like depression exactly.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Mon 15-May-17 14:36:09

Being depressed doesn't give you the go ahead to be a twat to your dw.
Stop pandering to his moods. .

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