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Am I freaking?!

(38 Posts)
ScouseBird8364 Sun 14-May-17 21:56:02

Went on a date (first one in over 10 years) Friday and really like the guy! I was so nervous confused

He seems very over-confident, like he wouldn't really be bothered whether I liked him or not, which I do!

So played it cool the next day, he messages me, blah blah... I messaged him and asked if he is actually interested as I seemed to just be getting one word replies. He says he is, and wants to see me again but I can't help but feel he's just not that into me? hmm

I hate myself for thinking he may be too good looking for me sad

Thing is, he didn't (& hasn't) paid me any compliments and didn't really ask me much about myself confused

Am I over-thinking here and sending my mind crazy?! confused

ScouseBird8364 Sun 14-May-17 21:58:59

I meant to say, he told me the following day he felt a bit awkward at first because I was so nervous, could my nerves have completely put him off?? sad

SaltySeaDog72 Sun 14-May-17 22:02:07

If he didn't really ask you much about yourself are you sure you like him that much?


JK1773 Sun 14-May-17 22:02:49

Well great for going on the date. Glad you enjoyed it. However stop (as hard as it is) trying to analyse him. On one date he's unlikely to pay compliments really. The only way you will know if he likes you is to see if he suggests going out again. First dates are always a bit awkward in terms of what to talk about and if he didn't ask you much that might just be nerves. Try to relax and see what happens. If by next weekend he hasn't suggested when to go out again then just leave it. In the meantime stop over-thinking. And he is not too good looking for you, nobody is flowers

AlcoholAndIrony Sun 14-May-17 22:06:08

Nerves would absolutely not put someone off.
But please please don't let him blame his inadequacies on you and how you were feeling.

If you want to see him again, by all means do. But use it to get away from the first date nerves and pay attention to what he remembers about you, or what he asks about you. Someone who starts off dates only speaking and thinking of themselves normally carry on that way into a relationship

ScouseBird8364 Sun 14-May-17 22:12:49

Thankyou guys, and I have a tendency to over-analyse, everything!! sadconfused

I think he was a little nervous too, though his over-confidence seemed to overrule it. I'm just worried my nervousness may have put him off confusedhmm

I've played it pretty cool the past few days and when I have, he does message but he just seems vague, iyswim?!

I'm so rusty when it comes to dating and I am quite insecure confused

Aaaarrrrggghhhh!!! Why do men have to be so confusing?!

So do you guys not think it a bad sign that he hasn't complimented me yet?! Am I expecting too much?!

WifeyFish Sun 14-May-17 22:18:09

Stop playing hard to get and just go with the flow. If he likes you for you great, if he doesn't it's his loss!

SaltySeaDog72 Sun 14-May-17 22:18:36

I would feel a bit uncomfortable being complimented on a first date tbh.

Good on you for going on a date but please remember he is a bloke. Not a demi god.

LesisMiserable Sun 14-May-17 22:21:18

Well if he didnt ask you much about yourself etc he's a bit rude and socially inept. But that aside, men respond to no contact so they say, which explains why you hear from him when you've not messaged for a couple of days. But to be honest, I think he's just playing. If he was into you, he'd have secured a second date by now.

I wouldnt block him or anything dramatic, but I'd certainly keep looking.

ScouseBird8364 Sun 14-May-17 22:23:35

*Salty I like that, and need to remember that wink

GoodDayToYou Sun 14-May-17 22:42:34

There's a useful thread on here, along the lines of: how did you know he/she was the one, or something like that.

I can only speak from my experience:

- Nerves don't matter (I was terrified!).

- Compliments can be forgotten with nerves. (And often aren't that real anyway - see next point.)

- There's no game playing.

- You know when you're both on the same page.

- It's easy and obvious.

It especially concerns me that you say you really like him and also that you don't think he's bothered if you like him or not.

Please believe me that 'Mr Right' is bothered and will want you to know that.

I would leave him be.

JK1773 Sun 14-May-17 23:11:18

I wouldn't write him off just yet. GoodDay is right but you've only had one date, you were a bag of nerves and texts are not great for communicating, especially when you don't know each other. See how it pans out this week

TheNaze73 Mon 15-May-17 06:59:45

I think you're getting way ahead of yourself after what is only one date. I'd only expect communication about the next date & that would be that. Texting between dates bores me rigid. Live your life, get on with your normal routine & look no further ahead then the next date.

Gallavich Mon 15-May-17 07:03:21

If someone I had had one date with asked me if I was really interested because I wasn't texting much I'd be really annoyed and go off them.
In my experience the men who are really confident and sexy are the head fuck ones who send me loopy. Best to avoid if possible!
Also a man who doesn't show interest in you and doesn't bother to find out about you or just talks about himself is a loser. So many men do this. Male socialisation is fascinating to observe on the dating scene.

TheStoic Mon 15-May-17 07:28:58

he told me the following day he felt a bit awkward at first because I was so nervous

Well that's not a very nice thing to say to you. He sounds egotistical, boring and unkind.

user1486956786 Mon 15-May-17 07:31:19

I hardly even text my boyfriend let alone someone I've been on a first date with. I would just wait for him to suggest second date.

Cricrichan Mon 15-May-17 08:03:49

He doesn't sound very nice to blame your nervousness for his awkwardness...that's hardly likely to loosen you up next time! I'd have blqmed it on my nerves if I was him even if it wasn't true.

If you go on a date and don't make an effort to ask questions and get to know the person you're dating then what's the point in going on a date? I mean there are loads of things to find out.

I wouldn't bother with him again. All this hassle before you've even started is not good. Just tell him that you didn't feel it.

springydaffs Mon 15-May-17 08:43:59

Gosh yes, men can do that peacock thing. So dull. You have to go ooh and ahh at their greatness <yawn>

It's not a very promising start on his part - blaming you for his awkwardness?? That's not great tbh.

However - first dates can be so weird, so give it another go. If he's the same peacocky type then let him go. You'd only be thoroughly miserable with someone like that.

And stop being grateful anyone would want to spend time with you. They'd be lucky to have you, get that straight in your head.

WifeyFish Mon 15-May-17 09:24:52

I guess the point about feeling awkward depends on context. If OP asked outright how he felt about their date, or drew attention to the fact that he seemed awkward I can understand why he might say he felt a bit on edge because of how nervous she was. If however OP said "thanks for a lovely date" and then replied mentioning how awkward her nerves made him feel I'd also think it's a bit of a dick move.

ScouseBird8364 Mon 15-May-17 11:13:20

Well my gut is saying 'wanker' right now...

He messaged me yesterday on FB, saying "by the way, here is my number..." (not that I'd asked!)

So I sent him a text just saying "Cx" (my initial, as if to just say here's mine too...

Just got txt back saying "Who is this.."

ScouseBird8364 Mon 15-May-17 11:14:44

Feeling a little more empowered today, my female super powers are telling me his over-confidence and arrogance may put a whole bunch of other women off hmm

LesisMiserable Mon 15-May-17 11:26:40

You had a date with him and you didnt even have each other's numbers? How does this work I'm fascinated! Was it a facebook thing?

ScouseBird8364 Mon 15-May-17 11:53:32

We met over FB (same Slimming World gre!)

I am genuinely pissed he didn't ask for my number that night, but I don't know how it all works these days confused

springydaffs Mon 15-May-17 12:18:41

That over confidence could well be bluster. Just saying.

I've left my mobile number on my dashboard when I've parked badly plenty of times before now - then don't take calls from a number I don't recognise, wondering why some random keeps calling.

Happens to the best of us. Ie being a bit dumb

GoodDayToYou Mon 15-May-17 12:58:24

This all sounds very 'uphill', hard work and quite unpleasant. As I said before, leave him be. Focus more on what YOU want.

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