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Sick and tired of his attitude

(30 Posts)
Whatagirltodo123 Sun 14-May-17 20:28:38

Ive been with my partner 4 years engaged for 2 and I'm getting tired of his behaviour. He moans the house is a mess so I tidy it up for him to make it a mess again by leaving his clothes all over the place, leaving his dirty plates and cups around and not putting rubbish in the bin when the bin was right underneath. I tell him I dont clean for him to make a mess and he went once I work 40 hours a week (I only work 22.5 hours as I look after our son) then he'll actually be tidy. I'm at the end of my tether with him. I'm trying not to talk to him at the moment as I will snap.

Hes even saying now I'm not giving him no love (i.e massaging him cuddling him) but he was the one who came home from work, ignored me and his son went straight on his phone and put a film on. I got zero attention yet he wants all mine.

TurnipCake Sun 14-May-17 20:31:15

I wouldn't be giving the lazy arsehole a massage either

ohfourfoxache Sun 14-May-17 20:31:19

Why the fuck are you with this utter man child?

ChickenBhuna Sun 14-May-17 20:37:14

His behaviour is disrespectful.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Sun 14-May-17 20:39:30

Remember marrying him won't change him. . .

AnyFucker Sun 14-May-17 20:39:59

Don't be a mug. What are you...the maid ?

Fuck him off.

ZilphasHatpin Sun 14-May-17 20:41:41

If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten.

You need to change what you're doing if you expect anything to change.

Jtaylor143 Sun 14-May-17 20:43:24

I'm in the same position, they think they can speak to you like a piece of shit and then moan they don't get any affection. How long has this been going on for?

AnyFucker Sun 14-May-17 20:45:17

Well, they can can't they ?

expatinscotland Sun 14-May-17 20:50:01

Stop being such a mug. Fuck him off. Can't imagine treating someone like this.

Jtaylor143 Sun 14-May-17 20:50:28

Yes they can, and any fucker can just easily say 'fuck him off' grin

Reachingout1 Sun 14-May-17 20:51:29

Totally feel for you!
I'm in a similar position! Walking on egg shells!
It's no way to live. You know the right thing to do, and that's not always the easiest or what you want but that's life!
Hope you get this sorted. And take no shit! X

Whatagirltodo123 Sun 14-May-17 21:08:09

I tell him enough times that I wont do it. I leave his mess (clean up mine and my son's) and he then shouts at me that much my son cries and he threatens to leave me with our son if I dont clean it. He tells me I'll have no chance in court for full custody or even 50:50 as I have money problems

DirtyChaiLatte Sun 14-May-17 21:09:53

He moans the house is a mess so I tidy it up

Why the hell would you go and do that??

If my DH said that to me, I'd point out that he knows where the hoover is, where the sink is, where the bleach is etc.....

ohfourfoxache Sun 14-May-17 21:10:48

He's abusive and is talking shit.

Don't clean up after him and get him to pack his bags.

expatinscotland Sun 14-May-17 21:12:25

Oh, and I'd go back to work FT. It's never a good idea to jack in FT work to look after kids when you're not married unless you're independently wealthy. SO many women do this and then wind up with a dickhead like this.

expatinscotland Sun 14-May-17 21:15:06

'he then shouts at me that much my son cries and he threatens to leave me with our son if I dont clean it. He tells me I'll have no chance in court for full custody or even 50:50 as I have money problems'

He's full of shit! 'Shout all you like! I'm not doing it.' 'I'll leave.' 'There's the door'.

If he paid a housekeeper and nanny they wouldn't be expected to massage him or shag him, either, the fucking wanker.

Wolfiefan Sun 14-May-17 21:15:15

So he's abusive.
FFS don't marry a man who shouts at you and threatens you.

AyeAmarok Sun 14-May-17 21:15:53

He tells me I'll have no chance in court for full custody or even 50:50 as I have money problems

He's probably wrong. Most very likely wrong. Can't think of any money problems that would affect custody of your DC.

Are you going to stay and let yourself be treated like shit? Are you going to let your son grow up with this as his role model of how to treat women generally, and you specifically?

Because you won't change him. So if you're going to stay, I don't think we can help you.

ohfourfoxache Sun 14-May-17 21:16:46

Be careful. It sounds like he's the type who could become violent.

Whatagirltodo123 Sun 14-May-17 21:24:19

Before maternity I was earning more than him and worked more hours and he still didn't chip in (we moved in together when I was 30 weeks pregnant)

I really don't think I can stay with him much longer. Just because he was spoilt by his mum I'm not going to do the same. He's a grown man and apparently a dad when he acts like it.

anxiousandpregnant Sun 14-May-17 21:31:52

If he thinks he would get custody of your son just because you don't earn enough than him then he's actually delusional!

This relationship doesn't sound like a happy one, he sounds more interested in his phone than you and his son.

Make a plan to leave/get him to leave. Get your family round as back up for when you ask him to go make sure you get his keys from him.

Want2beme Sun 14-May-17 21:34:06

You work fulltime as well & more. Just call his bluff and tell him to go. Being with someone who has no respect for you is no way to live. Really, you don't have to live with a person who treats you so badly & ignores your DS.

Whatagirltodo123 Sun 14-May-17 21:37:13

I told him I look after him and our son and that's more than a full time job. I get u0 before him, even on my days off so his stuff is ready for when he goes to work yet I'm the nasty one.

scootinFun Sun 14-May-17 21:37:37

Holy moly - absolutely call his bluff and leave. If you stay it's only going to get worse!

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