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Sexless marriage/Lack of intimacy

(1 Post)
RunningOnMusic Sun 14-May-17 14:17:31

I am 42. Married to DH 9 years together for 11. We have 2 children age 3 and 6. Our sex life has never been mind blowing but we have had phases of trying to have some kind of intimacy through the years, but I now can't remember the last time we actually had sex. I thought we could work on it together when I married him and his good qualities outweighed what I thought wasn't such an important part of life together. DH is a good man, a good father but has issues discussing his emotions with me and seems to have no interest in sex. I feel so lonely - it is like living with a good friend whilst we raise 2 children. When I am busy with work or family life I try to not think about it but I am at a point where I have noticed we don't hold hands, we don't cuddle, we hug every now and then but that is about it. It is breaking my heart and I feel like I am on the edge of destroying my family just because of sex and the need to feel connected with someone. But I really can't live like this. I really want to have that connection with someone and feel wanted and want them. Every time I initiate anything I am rejected and I now don't because it is humiliating. I do have a healthy sex drive and have had great partners in the past and that has helped with having a connection with them. I just don't know what to do. I have tried talking to him, he promises to try to do something about it and nothing happens. We have been to relate twice during our marriage for this reason and nothing helped. I know working and having a young family take their toll on life, but is this it? Has anyone else lived like this? I could be married for another 40 years with no intimacy. I don't want to break up a family over sex but this is a very lonely existence. Has anyone else had experience of this situation and how did it work out?

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