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I'm just not interested in sex!

(3 Posts)
sjhxox Sun 14-May-17 14:13:46

Hi, me and my other half have an 8 month old daughter. We haven't had sex for 9 months, I was diagnosed with depression about 2 months after our little girl was born, I was always down, crying, wasn't interested in any hobbies, going out etc.. the only thing that ever really made me happy was our daughter! Anyway, I have been on anti depressants now since December 30th 16, I'm slowly getting there, more good days than bad now but I'm really just not interested in sex, I love my other half more than anything, I would never want to lose him but I feel like I am going too, I've tried to talk to him about how I feel, tell him it's not him it's just the way I'm feeling at the moment, but he just keeps going on about how sexually frustrated he is and that we should just try! I've even told him that I wouldn't blame him if he left because it isn't fair on him. I'm having a bad day today, just thinking about how long it's been and how our relationship isn't like other people's because of this really puts me on a downer! I really don't know what to do! The way I feel right now I could happily never have sex again!

josuk Sun 14-May-17 17:07:06

Hey - you have a tiny baby and are on ADs.... Expecting you to have a high sex drive, or in fact any drive - is not that realistic.

However - here is what an exB once said when we were talking about sex. We are friends and can talk about all kinds of things.
He said - men get that women can have lower drive. And all that.
And at times - women shy away from even 'trying' because they think is has to be full on intercourse.
But - his words, not mine - he said - many men would be happy if a woman just were there and was a bit physical. And touched the guy, or just undressed and let him look at her, touch her a little.
He can do most of his stuff himself.
And - who knows - you might feel more into it then, or later.

Intimacy can take many forms. Especially when it's getting back into it after baby, depression, etc.

Teddy6767 Sun 14-May-17 17:19:05

Do you do things like passionately kiss? Or do you not have any intimacy at all together?
I can totally get both sides of the story but relationships are all about compromise if they're ever going to last long term. I'm not saying you need to just keep your mouth shut and have wild sex with him whenever he fancies it. As that would mean he isn't having to compromise in the situation which wouldn't be fair on you. But maybe If you start doing a few little sexual things together even just once or twice a month then it might keep him happy and ultimatelty help you rediscover your libido. Things like cuddling up naked in bed and stroking each other's bodies before you go to sleep. Or having a nice long passionate kiss with a little gropage.

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