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Do you have a dick head in your life?

(27 Posts)
BecauseICanAndWill Sun 14-May-17 12:03:02

So I have a dick head in my life, it's not someone I can cut contact with and it's not someone I can confront, between the delusions of grandeur and the most incredible sense of entitlement I've ever come across there is just no talking to this person.

They have a knack for making you feel shit with little digs whilst simultaneously bragging about their own life. Their problems are more important than anybody elses and everybody should drop everything in their own lives to support them and God help you if you don't. They are rude and selfish but constantly project their flaws onto others.

I am just about fucking done with narcissistic twats in my life but for the time being I'm stuck with this one so how do I deal? How the fuck do I not let this person get to me?

I have to be somewhat vague because I think this particular dick head might use this site, although having said that I doubt they'd even recognise themselves because it's everyone around them that is the dick head apparently hmm

rizlett Sun 14-May-17 12:18:43

It takes practice - but people can only 'get' to us if we give them the power to do so.

This person is a dick - but that's ok - there's always gonna be dicks in the world. Let that dick go.

Keep your interaction with them as minimal as possible.

And maybe work out why they bother you so much.

BecauseICanAndWill Sun 14-May-17 16:16:09

Thank you rizlett, I will have a think about why, or more importantly why I let it bother me.

user1493759849 Sun 14-May-17 16:25:14

I think most people know someone like this OP, I do! It's a (male/female) couple actually. Can't fucking stand them and neither can my DH; they are exactly like you describe in your original post; and they are such hard work that me and DH have been avoiding them incessantly all year.

They have asked several people if we are 'ok,' and these people have come back to us and reported this to us, and asked if we are ok. And we say yes of course, because we are ok. We just don't want to be in the company of dickheads.

user1493759849 Sun 14-May-17 16:28:03

@rizlet
And maybe work out why they bother you so much.

Erm, the OP explained why in her opening post...... confused

They have delusions of grandeur and the most incredible sense of entitlement I've ever come across there is just no talking to this person.

They have a knack for making you feel shit with little digs whilst simultaneously bragging about their own life. Their problems are more important than anybody elses and everybody should drop everything in their own lives to support them and God help you if you don't. They are rude and selfish but constantly project their flaws onto others.

That ^ is why she is bothered by them.

JK1773 Sun 14-May-17 17:09:02

Yes I have one of these in my life. Thankfully I don't have to see her more than a handful of times per year. Makes life easier

Allabitmuchisntit Sun 14-May-17 17:11:34

Several unfortunately.

AnyFucker Sun 14-May-17 17:13:30

Yes, my father

Imbroglio Sun 14-May-17 17:15:22

Depends what they want from you and the context, which I understand you may not want to give.

redandwhite1 Sun 14-May-17 22:10:57

Why are you stuck with them (him?)? Kids?

MamaOfBabas Sun 14-May-17 23:04:06

I have one who is unfortunately here for good. There were a few more, but they've pretty much gone now, so its more bearable. Just avoid as much as possible.

sproutsmum Sun 14-May-17 23:26:37

Not anymore , I didn't think I could get rid, but decided in the end my sanity was my priority, so I walked away. With a little space and time away it was easier to see their opinions were just that, opinions and not facts and therefore did not matter.. when I started to realise that they did not have more value as a person than me and I was entitled to think whatever I liked regardless of them I felt better.
It also makes it easier to just smile and nod and ignore any further shit that comes my way from them.
Good luck with getting rid or ignoring yours, they do it for a reaction anyway it makes them feel important that they have an impact.

user1494806102 Mon 15-May-17 02:24:23

huh. sounds like my big brother.

Myrobalanna Mon 15-May-17 11:08:17

I don't. I have been quite ruthless over the past few years at walking away.
Sadly in one case it meant losing a good family friend but it just couldn't be done, having this woman around us and keeping her partner as a friend. She was that bad.

BecauseICanAndWill Mon 15-May-17 19:31:29

Redandwhite1 it's not my DH. I have had the misfortune of having a few narcissistic twats in my life and have cut them out but for now circumstances dictate I'm stuck with this one. It sucks, I hate that once again I am in a situation where I feel vulnerable because someone else gets their kicks out of treating others like shit.

MissBax Mon 15-May-17 19:39:55

Haha yep, I know one just like this. I find it equally infuriating and fascinating!

FormerNymphet Mon 15-May-17 20:32:33

My DP...
Try and rise above it.
I always think of this Russian phrase.
You don't drink poison and wait for your enemies to die.
The only person that hurts is you.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Mon 15-May-17 20:37:55

I used to have too many of them around. Much reduced in private life now, professional life still subject to them. I find that laughter and pity, even if internalised never said out loud, helps a lot. Remind yourself that their behaviour is telling you something about them, something sad and deluded.

BossyBitch Mon 15-May-17 20:43:45

The type that you can't ever get rid of even if you do your utmost to several all ties: I got half of my DNA from him.

It's a few hours twice a year, and I always follow it up with a drink-and-bitch with similarly holiday-traumatised friends with equally dysfunctional families, which does help.

Answering back certainly doesn't- there's no point in arguing with a self-infatuated person. They'll only see you as the idiot who just doesn't get how utterly awesome they are.

Steamgirl Mon 15-May-17 21:05:47

I have one of these. I minimise contact especially if I'm feeling a bit vulnerable. I think the digging / bragging pattern is their way of making themselves feel better because deep down they are massively insecure

redandwhite1 Mon 15-May-17 21:52:38

Be strong people! flowers

milkjetmum Mon 15-May-17 21:56:35

Well if you don't know a dickhead within your friends /family /colleagues then chances are it's you! grin so look on the brightside!

I have a cactus at home named after mine...

redandwhite1 Mon 15-May-17 22:15:10

Haha!

I try to eliminate them all out my life, bring me down too much!

DoYouFeelBetter Tue 16-May-17 12:07:53

Just got rid of one who sounds exactly like yours OP. Plays the victim but is nasty to the core. She thinks she's being hard done by but doesn't see that it's her continued and relentless nastiness that brought us to this point. So sorry you have to put up with it.

Polkadot1974 Tue 16-May-17 22:38:55

Now panicking that I'm a dick. Been cut off by a woman in last year but she's cut off our mutual friend too. I'd love to know why. Maybe I am a dick but I really hope not

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