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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

What would you do?

(15 Posts)
dilemmadriven Sun 14-May-17 11:59:43

A couple of years ago I was added by my ex on Facebook. Long story short, I ended up having to block him because of pestering to meet up/rekindle our relationship, and finally, unsolicited dick pics. (I'm married and he is engaged, though he tried to make out he was single).

Last night, I got a message on Facebook from his fiancée, asking me what the hell was going on between him and me, telling me to leave him alone, he's not interested, and weirdly, ending with "I don't trust him at the best of times". (Probably with good reason knowing what I know about him). Part of me is angry that she has sent this, and I'm tempted to tell her just why I blocked him, part of me feels sorry for her, as there's clearly trouble in paradise. I do wonder if blocking and ignoring would be the best course of action. What would others do?

josuk Sun 14-May-17 12:04:04

Look - I'd do what you wanted done if you were in her place.

For me - i'd have told her the truth. Some of it, anyway.
We were friends on FB, no longer are in communication.
I am married and moved on.
If he is telling you some other version - it's between you and him to sort out.

RockyBird Sun 14-May-17 12:06:26

Tell her what happened and that she has the wrong end of the stick.

Is your DH aware of what happened? I'd be filling him in, if not.

0dfod Sun 14-May-17 12:07:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dilemmadriven Sun 14-May-17 12:09:04

My DH is aware - I haven't told him about the fiancée's message yet as he's away in France at the moment, gets back on Wednesday.

HerOtherHalf Sun 14-May-17 12:09:22

Tell her what happened then tell her to fuck off and to pass the message to your ex that he's to fuck off as well. You don't owe her anything tbh and you don't need this drama.

PollytheDolly Sun 14-May-17 12:11:10

I'd tell her then wish her luck. She's going to need it.

dilemmadriven Sun 14-May-17 12:11:54

I'm tempted to do that Herotherhalf - why she thinks I would want her loser of a fiancé who I dumped 15 years ago, I don't know!

josuk Sun 14-May-17 12:18:59

I never understood why women like hurting other women. And then we complain about how cruel men are...

OP - clearly - he had told her some lies. And, she is not in a great place. Would anyone be with constant trust issues?

And you want to take your frustration with him ON HER...
Why?

You can tell her all kinds of things without making her feel even worse.

lizzyj4 Sun 14-May-17 12:23:44

Even if you tell her, she probably won't believe you and you open up a whole new reason for your ex to contact you. I'd just block her too and leave it at that.

dilemmadriven Sun 14-May-17 12:25:08

Josuk, I don't want to hurt her - he is the dick in this! I'm annoyed that his actions have inadvertently involved her, but also, the tone of her message was quite abusive. Yet I still manage to feel sympathy for her.

VladmirsPoutine Sun 14-May-17 12:26:01

Tell her exactly why you blocked him. Be honest.
You clearly have moved on and he's going to remain an eternal piece of shit.
Tell her and then be done with.

Cricrichan Sun 14-May-17 12:28:08

Be honest with her. If you still have some messages, send them to her. it'll then be up to her to believe what she wants.

Teatowelfairy Sun 14-May-17 12:34:07

I 'd start by telling DH then sending her what Mosul said.
* We were friends on FB, no longer are in communication.
I am married and moved on.
If he is telling you some other version - it's between you and him to sort out.*
Then I would block her.

Teatowelfairy Sun 14-May-17 12:35:32

Josuk not Mosul! Bloody auto correct blush

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