Hi Mumsnetters. It's my first post and I've ended up here after googling things such as 'why haven't I met anyone yet' etc. You get the picture...
I'm 32 at the end of this year, and ALL of my close friends are married or at the very least in long term serious relationships. Advice to 'make more single friends' seems so silly at this age. Yes I know that would probably help me feel less alone, but its not that easy to find lots of single people at 32. MOST people ARE in relationships.
I've had two serious relationships, but since the last one ended (3 and a half years ago), I haven't met anyone i've properly fallen for, and i've become resistant to just going along with a relationship that's just ok. I would rather be alone than be with someone who I don't miss or I'm ambivalent as to whether they are around.
When I was first single, I really took hold of my life, bought a house, got a job I enjoyed and pays the bills. Decorated exactly how I liked and did my own thing, cooked for myself and on my own schedule...all things I appreciated because not everyone has that luxury.
But times has passed and I am SO lonely.
My younger sister (27) met her other half at uni, and it's become so awkward at family events. It's my parents and my sister and boyfriend...And then me. They talk about holidays they are going on, good deals for couples, cost of decorating etc... all of which really stings because I can't afford any of these things as I don't have the benefit of an additional income. The last family event I went to, the bill was 'spilt', except it's not, it's 2 couples and me. It makes it sound like they rub it in my face and they don't at all, but it feels that way and it's got to the point where I avoid socialising with them all together, which is sad because I get on with family for the most part.
I can't afford a holiday this year and I know many many people can't. But it still doesn't stop me feeling shit about it.
As time passes, I know I am unlikely to celebrate a silver wedding anniversary. I dread invites to weddings, as I have to go alone. I hate that when I do go alone I have to drive because it's too expensive to stay over or get a taxi on my own (yes I could go with a friend but most people are coupled up and it's awkward to be an 'add on'). I hate that I get home and nobody is there to make a tea for or to make me one. I hate that when I'm poorly it's myself I have to depend on. I hate that I feel weird for being single at this age. I don't think I'm different to most women, but maybe I am and I can't see that. I feel left out of one of the best things in life, to be loved and love back.
I date but my enthusiasm for it is low. Most people I meet I don't have any interest in. It has got to the point where I can't think of a reason to stay on this planet. I could join all sorts of activities and 'do things for myself,' but I've DONE all that. I've enjoyed it. And it doesn't take away loneliness.
Can anyone give me hope that it may all change? Did anyone out there experience this and feel left behind? I have gone from being a confident, independent and happy person to an unhappy mess of ending up on my own forever.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Can anyone give me hope that my single 30s may change? I have no hope today.
lostandfound12 · 14/05/2017 11:48
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.