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Just a bit of a W*nker

(9 Posts)
user1494624186 Sat 13-May-17 22:06:23

Just trying to get a feel whether I've flown off the handle a bit tonight.
Been feeling a bit low and stressed out the last few weeks and in one of those 'nit picking' frames of mind.
So in a row with DH it came out that he's a bit of a wanker. And I think does it most days. I feel a bit put out by that. Our sex life has dropped off a bit and become a bit samey.
Am I ok to feel put out by it or do I need to get a bit of a grip?

Berrie1 Sat 13-May-17 22:12:25

I imagine a lot of guys will wank most days, I don't think it is uncommon; however, if it is starting to affect your sex life then you need to have chat with him.

scottishdiem Sat 13-May-17 22:15:25

become a bit samey

I'd have a chat about it when you have come out of that nit picking mood you are in. Perhaps he is wanking cause you have become a bit samey in bed as well.

josuk Sun 14-May-17 00:56:17

Yes, you have

Masturbation is healthy and provides release. Many men and women enjoy doing it. And frequency depends on many things - mood, health, etc....
If his frequency increased as sex became less imaginative - it is more likely a consequence, not a cause.
In other words, a release. Totally harmless ana healthy.

Masturbation is not a substitute for sex life, it's something that runs in parallel.

Responsibility for your 'samey' sex life does not only lay on your husband. You are there too.
So - you both need to try figuring out how to fix it.

shitgibbon Sun 14-May-17 01:29:52

Masturbation and sex are entirely different things. He can do it every day and still have sex with you -- the issue is that you need to talk to him about how you feel about sex and what you'd like to change. Doesn't matter how often he wanks.

Guavaf1sh Sun 14-May-17 08:18:52

Sounds like you were in a mood for a fight after some stress at work and decided to take it out on your husband because he happened to mention in a conversation that he masturbates, which most people do. You then complained about your sex life. You should not deal with stress by insulting and belittling others

TheStoic Sun 14-May-17 08:29:34

What was the row about? Unless it was about sex, it seems like a strange thing to...come up in an argument?

user1479302027 Sun 14-May-17 08:49:12

If he does it every day he is probably thinking that he doesn't want to pester you all the time.
Re samey sex - if he wants it every day, it can become hard to initiate because of waiting for the other to be in the right physical mood. I think you might benefit from being creative and setting the tone. It will create a permissive environment. Ask him to think of things!

If I thought dp was up for it every day (ok ok, twice a dayblush) I would choose that option over going solo. As it is, it is a way of not going crazy/being unreasonable. It is not something that should be held against anyone.

user1494624186 Sun 14-May-17 08:52:59

Thanks for the opinions guys.
We are in the process of selling and buying a house, so it has been stressful but you are all right, we need to sit down and chat about it. And I need to take responsibility.
I've just been feeling a bit insecure and then this has kinda of added to my insecurity that I'm not good enough x
Have a good day guys x

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