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When do you know when enough is enough?

(5 Posts)
emille Sat 13-May-17 08:49:29

Really struggling here and not quite sure what my next move should be.

Been with dh for 13 years, have 2 dc (10 & 2 ((infertility)) ).

Dh works mon-fri (thinks he is the only one in the world that has to do this!) i worked in between my 2 dc in a managerial role that i gave up after dc2 was born.

I literally do everything that a stay at home mother should do (not complaining, enjoy doing it but sometimes would enjoy an hour or 2 to myself!) And dh literally does sod all. He always says he doesnt want to be "sitting about all day at home" which means simple house/garden jobs are never done and i have to keep asking if he would mind eg. mowing lawn and theres always an excuse not to do it. That eg. sounds petit i know but its at the top of a neverending list!
When it comes to the children he was great with dc1 but seems to struggle with dc2 and doesnt help me at all!! To the point i was unable to celebrate a recent special birthday as he is unable to put the child to bed!!!

Feels to me he would rather be out in the pub with work colleagues or friends then spend time with us. And now its come to a point where I feel like im becoming the nagging wife! And keep questioning myself "what the hell am i actually doing with him!"

Surely there is more to life than this!!!!

SaorAlbaGuBrath Sat 13-May-17 08:52:53

DP works crazy hours, and I mean crazy, sometimes 17-18 hour days, sometimes he's away for days at a time. Yet when he's home he always does the tasks in the house that I struggle with, like the grass (my arms are too short to pull the cord) or fixing things or we decorate together. He's been to the pub 3 times in a year, and if I do go out (rarely but that's my choice not his) he does dinner and bedtime for the kids.

I couldn't live like you describe OP, he sounds very selfish and also a bit of a dick.

Joysmum Sat 13-May-17 08:54:12

The time to leave is when you realise that how things are now isn't good enough (let alone good) and you have lost hope in them ever changing for the better.

DownTownAbbey Sat 13-May-17 08:56:20

Frankly yes, there is more to life.

I've been through this and it ended in divorce and I'm so much happier now that the stress of living with such a self centred cock has lifted. It Really is less stressful being alone than putting up with this. And you'll get free time when he has the DC every other weekend grin.

Obviously not everyone is such a fan of divorce, but make sure he knows that changes have to be made. If he doesn't make them you need to save your own sanity. He's clearly only interested in himself.

LesisMiserable Sat 13-May-17 10:50:24

This is a family home,of which you are part of. You are not pulling your weight. Start or you will break up this family home because I will leave you.

Men prefer short factual sentences. Yes they do, before anyone starts.

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