How would you feel if

[ziggy1986]

A close friend got a job working directly with you.

Worried it might spoil the friendship.

[anon1987]

For me personally it would make work a more fun and nice place to go.
You could have lunch together, share the car journey and give each other moral support throughout the day.

[MrsELM21]

This happened to me, fortunately my friend was the person who suggested me for the job so I'm 'the newbie' rather than the 'host' if you see what I mean!

On the whole it's great and we've done it for 2+ years now, yes there are times when you can get on each other's nerves but isn't that the same with all colleagues, but for us it's worked out really well.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

It would depend on the friend and the job!

[junebirthdaygirl]

I wouldnt really like it as l go into a world of my own at work..teaching ..so l would find it difficult l think to have that interupted. But lm sure l would adjust. I love to kep my work like separate

[CosyPinkBlanket]

I'm about to find out as I start back after mat leave and going into the team my friend works in. I'm thinking it will all be good as long as I'm not working for her as that may make being friends outside work awkward.

[ziggy1986]

I wouldn't be working for her but she is very much giving the impression she would be moving with a view to being promoted above me (despite us have equivalent experience etc).

I'm just a bit

But equally feel like a cow because it's probably a good move for her.

[Cricrichan]

It depends on the friend and your roles. It could be tricky if you think they're not pulling their weight but if they're good workers then it's great.

[Changedname3456]

I recommended a good friend for a job at work. That person didn't pick up the job very well and (imo) stopped trying and started coasting. I found that embarrassing, because of the recommendation, and I'd think really hard before doing it again. I really hadn't thought they were that sort of person.

[BlahBlahBlahEtc]

I got my friend a job once (working together obv). I will never ever do it again.

[ziggy1986]

Blahblah what happened?

It's not that I think she won't do a good job. It's that I think she is going to block my career prospects (potentially) and also that I think it will affect the friendship.

[darkhorse85]

I would feel a bit miffed to be honest. Will you be at the same level and at any point would you be competing with each other?

The other way round as I met my best friend at work but it did sometimes cause an odd dynamic when one of us got a promotion, pay rise etc.

We don't work together any more and although we used to have a lot of fun, I think it's done our friendship good.

[darkhorse85]

Sorry cross post.

In that case, yes I would be annoyed.

[ziggy1986]

So essentially we are at exactly the same stage.

Currently we are paid roughly the same. However I assume if she moves to my place of work she will be doing so on the basis she will get a pay rise and be paid more.

[ziggy1986]

So update to this is that said friend is coming into the same team as me but on a bigger salary and with view to promotion. We have roughly equivalent experience.

Not feeling too happy. Even leaving the bigger salary to one side I just feel like my toes are being treaded upon/ side lined.

Someone hand me a grip. Am I a horribly unreasonable cow?

[Ginlovinglady]

No you're not being unreasonable
It's a tough one, you'd be miffed even if it wasn't your friend.
Sadly sometimes people who move jobs often do better than people who stay put and give loyalty. It's just the way it goes
Can you talk to your manager about possible upward movement?
And I do think this will affect your friendship a bit, sadly. Most people are out for themselves, sadly
I learnt this working with a friend
I would have gone above and beyond to help out, they seemingly didn't back my corner in terms of Payrises etc, not through spite, just because it was better for them (small company)
They were senior though.
If you're in a non competitive roll then it might be ok.

[Bleurghghghgh]

Whilst I don't think you're being unreasonable I think you need to try and get over it a bit.

I would hate this - work is my thing - and I have friends who have hinted at wanting to work with me (same industry - kind of) who I've brushed off so I'd be pretty annoyed if they went behind my back to do it. I

But you can't do anything about it now other than try to forget the pay/promotion thing (bear in mind they're more likely to 'upsell' the possibility of a promotion to a new starter so it's not written in stone) and see how it goes. If you hate it you can look for something else

[MyheartbelongstoG]

What is shopping you from moving up the ladder?

[MyheartbelongstoG]

She sounds like a go getter, is better focused and you're just plodding along until now.

[WithCheesePlease]

Why is she getting paid more if you both have the same experience? Why does she have chance of promotion over you? I think I'd be miffed at the company for this regardless of whether she was a friend or not.

Is it a case that she's just more confident/better at putting herself out there? Can you put yourself forward for payrise/promo too?

[Ginlovinglady]

MyheartbelongstoG
Nice!
It's easy to be a go getter in a new role. You're all fired up and ready to go.
Sometimes I think companies get swayed by the new fancy talk, when there is someone there quietly doing a bloody decent job of their job!
But I do agree if you want to move up then you have to push for it

[ExtraPineappleExtraHam]

I've worked with friends and most of them I'm no longer close too. It just doesn't work, you need your friends to moan about work too and if you both work in the same place then lines get crossed etc. I would slowly distance myself but it depends on how close you are.

[ziggy1986]

MyheartbelongstoG - what have I said to make you think I am "a plodder"

[ziggy1986]

I think at the interview she has talked about how she wants promoted, basically. Whereas my aspirations have not really been discussed.

Is it too much to expect my boss to recognise my capabilities and to push me for promotion?!! Obviously it is, yes. But I feel like I'm being stepped over.

[ziggy1986]

PS myheartbelongstoG - if you look at our employment history she looks like the plodder. But she has obviously interviewed well.

[BossyBitch]

Depends on the friend. I have actively recommenfed friends before but have also steered some away from applying to the firm I work for. I definitely have friends whom I wouldn't want as co-workers. One that I successfully averted is lovely at the pub but would drive me insane with his constant need for praise at work.

As for your boss not putting you forward: you need to tell them you're interested! Bosses don't read minds. I'm considered quite invested in my people generally, but all that means is that I meet with them on a regular basis and ask. I may suggest a role change at times, but I also expect someone seeking a promotion to have the guts to ask. They'll need these in a managerial role, anyway.