Is it when fil deliberately does stuff to get a rise out of me?
When he makes me feel as if I want my own dd to get hurt because I ask him to leave her be (she's finding her feet and he's like her shadow following her around all of the time)?
When he tells me he's doing something regardless of me asking him not to?
When he goes in a strop because I cook her evening meal?
When he tells her yes if I've told her no and does it anyway?
I've posted before about our current living situation (we moved to live with the in laws following the death of my mum, us having no family back in Wales to rely on as dd is epileptic). I was flamed for getting upset about mil arranging dd's first birthday cake behind my back, fil wanting to take over her birthday and constantly wanting to up his presents to her to try and make some sort of weird competition, wanting to join baby groups such as jo jingles with dd (if funds had allowed) and made to feel as if I should just let fil do what he wants out of gratitude for him allowing us to live in their house.
Our housing application came back as a band c, which to be honest I was expecting. But thanks to our rubbish car failing its mot any savings from dh's redundancy pay we had to look into private rented has been taken up by that. I doubt we would be able to sign up with a letting agent either as neither of us would pass the credit checks. I've looked on the Shelter website for advice about that, but I'm not too brilliant at navigating it.
When the health visitor came to do her introduction appointment mil was off work. So they were both sat in the room with us, constantly interrupting and trying to get dd's attention, despite the health visitor dropping hints for them to give us some space. I now go to clinic instead of her coming out to the house so that we can talk in private.
I'm struggling with my mental health. When my mum passed away my anxiety and panic attacks rocketed. I resorted to asking the Dr for help and was put on medication. So things had slowly calmed down. But they're building back up and I think it's a result of how things are here.
I spoke to the health visitor and she advised me to get to a local group that gives advice on housing, benefits etc. They're actually writing a supporting letter to the housing department and have asked the health visitor to do the same to see if that will help in any way. If not then we need to go back to the group and they will see what steps can be taken next.
I don't want to come across as ungrateful. But, at what point is enough enough? At what point can I actually put my foot down? At what point have I let more than enough slide because I feel indebted to them?
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at what point is it too much
11 replies
pinklemonade84 · 12/05/2017 22:06
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