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Anyone done the freedom program? I'm struggling to accept it was emotional abuse

(2 Posts)
Freefromhim Fri 12-May-17 09:45:49

I've name changed for this, and it's thanks to mumsnet I even realized it was emotional abuse.

I went to counseling a few years ago as I thought it was my fault, they made it clear it wasn't my fault, but my self esteem and confidence was so low I blamed myself, and was to scared to leave, didn't think I could afford too.

He left me a few months ago, and I didn't realize how much I walked on eggshells around him until I didn't do it any more.

I went to the women's centre and they referred me for counseling and I started the freedom program this week.

It was really hard going as it means acknowledging that it happened, and I told the course leader that people have it a lot worse than me and I feel guilty for taking a place, she very kindly told me I have as much right as anyone to be there and I mustn't minimize what happened to me.

I'm hoping the program will help, but don't really know what to expect?

Welshmaenad Fri 12-May-17 10:08:30

I used to deliver a version of the freedom Programme.

If I'd had a quid for every new woman who came in saying she 'didn't deserve to be there' or 'other people had it worse' or 'at least he didn't hit me' I'd be a rich woman,

You deserve to be there, it was abuse, and I promise we don't 'rate' you on who had it worst.

If you engage with it it can be incredibly empowering and helpful in overcoming past abuse. Please stick with it. In my experience, it is the scars from the coercion and manipulation that need the most tending to because they cause the most incredible long lasting damage if not addressed.

You may find it helpful to google the Duluth Power and Control wheel to see how many behaviours of his you can identify - it may shock you but will confirm that you need to be there to heal yourself. Very best of luck to you flowers

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