Warning : long and petty....
Hope somebody is awake, I have just walked home alone in the early hours crying from my supposed boyfriend's house. He doesn't live far away and no , I haven't been drinking.
I have had a hectic few months for various reasons. After spending much of the day with him (my day off, he's on leave).
I went home to do some chores and agreed to be at his for 8. We'd originally agreed to eat together, he was going to cook, v rare occurrence in our relationship and was a last minute arrangement.
He was annoyed that I couldn't get there before 8 as he was hungry. I have bad tummy due to meds side effects so said he should just sort out his own food and I'd come at 8 as planned. He went off in a huff.
A friend dropped by mine 7ish and I didn't get all my jobs done, plus my wifi went down so spent a lot of time trying to sort that too. One chore was a basic admin task and I spoke to him prior to me going and asked if I could complete it at his otherwise would be even later. He was amenable to this and said we could watch a film.
I got to his and he was decidedly offish with me and sat down on the other side of the room doing his hobby while I got on with my jobs.
He was not near the telly nor able to see it and left me with some crap channel 5 benefits show so I switched over to watch a thriller I've been enjoying. Tried to engage him in convo, no joy, struggled with my task so it took longer than planned, asked for help/advice, his advice was not good so I didn't take up his suggestion, he muttered about it having wasted the evening. Anyway, sorry, this is looooong...
I finished said chore, he disappeared for ages then came back said he needed bread and did I want to come, by now was about 10pm/1030 so I declined. While he was out I started getting ready for bed but waited up for him in pjs despite being knackered (long term health issues)
He returned, got his laptop out and sat away from me again, I moved in for a cuddle and he got irritated saying I choose my moments: he was now occupied and as I'd been 'effectively working all night' I can't just demand attention now that I'm free while he's now busy.
He said let's watch a show we both like then proceeded to work on his laptop , I ended up falling asleep on sofa so woke up and went to bed.
Woke up about 130 went in lounge to see him and he looked furious but of course denied it and said he was coming to bed. By 230 he still hadn't appeared, of course I was wide awake by now as knowing he was coming to bed couldn't get back to sleep. I have insomnia so by this time I was fully awake.
I sent him SMS as cba to get up again, just saying I missed him in bed.
He then arrived, did the huffing and puffing , got into bed and when I asked if he's ok just stared having a go at me for ruining his night.
Similar thing happened at the weekend but in reverse: I woke up early, he wasn't ready to wake up so I went downstairs to do chores (single mum, two kids, house a tip)
He then followed me downstairs so I said how about we watch a film while I do this one main job then I'll do the rest later. He agreed. I picked a film we both wanted for ages and then he complained he didn't want to waste his Saturday watching me do chores. We ended up having a huge row and he stormed off.
This is not the first or second time he's stripped like this when I've had stuff to do.
I took the day off on Monday to spend with him on his birthday which he said had been an amazing day and thanked me. I saw him tues night and he said yesterday he feels like he's hardly seen me.
God this is waffle I don't it?
Anyway the upshot being, I told him he was being self absorbed and childish and left his house crying .
Perhaps I should have stayed from a safety point of view but didn't want a huge row and didn't want his flat mate to hear it and I felt he was being unreasonable and illogical.
I'm fucking fuming that he didn't show any concern for my safety. I know I'm a grown woman and it's my responsibility not his but still...
I just don't know how to deal with his fragile ego, we have awesome sex, shared sense of humour etc a very loving relationship until I do anything that slights him or challenges his opinion.
I don't know how long I can put up with this, should I just ignore it and carry on doing my thing?
I don't know how to be. I have disabilities, huge house which I can't manage, long story but am financially trapped here, two small kids plus two jobs and he can be so empathic, kind and thoughtful but other times he's a mean cunt.
I'm not expert in relationships so I might be the one in the wrong.
I feel like I'm always managing his expectations as well as juggling everything else , I really don't know how to deal with this.
Help!!!
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Manchild or is it me?
Frustrationstations · 12/05/2017 03:22
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