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Overcome being cheated on

(3 Posts)
Glittergirl1010 Thu 11-May-17 22:27:59

Sorry it's a long one, I feel absolutely heartbroken writing this. Me and my partner got together August 2015, in December I had heard from a friend that he had slept with someone behind my back. I obviously confronted him about it but he denied it, having full trust in him I believed him and after that little hiccup we carried on as normal. In march 2016 I found out we were going to have a baby (not planned), bit of a shock but happy as ever. A few months after that we were both in Tesco, and we bumped into the woman who he apparently slept with behind my back. As soon as she seen me she immediately turned the other way and tried to avoid me completely, which to me is definitely a guilty thing to do. i asked him again if he went behind my back and he got all defensive and denied it again. Anyway fast forward to now we have a beautiful daughter, a mortgage and we also got engaged. Today I confronted him about it again and told him I do not want to enter married life with any secrets, he finally admitted doing it after me thinking I was going crazy. Things between us are the best they have been through the whole relationship and I don't want our family to fall apart. I believe him when he says it was a stupid drunk mistake and it will never happen again. I'm trying to move on but I don't know how to, does anyone have any advice in what we can do to rebuild the trust in this relationship? Or has anyone been in the same situation as me and they've managed to get on with things or did the relationship eventually break down?

PotahtoPotayto Fri 12-May-17 04:28:17

I'm so sorry this is happening to you.

I think that if you really do want to make it work, couple's counselling is the way to go. It's gonna be a very long process, and the dynamics of your relationship might never be as it were before. But I've seen couples come out of it bruised but standing.

Saying that though, I must admit that the lying is probably a bigger problem than the cheating in itself, and that's saying something. From experience, the ones that manage to stay together following an episode of cheating are always the ones where the cheater admits and apologises to the other party immediately after it happens. Not saying your relationship won't work, don't get me wrong, but that's one aspect you definitely should explore on your own prior to making any decisions.

user1482079332 Fri 12-May-17 04:56:16

He took his time admitting to you but if your prepared to let that go for the sake of your relationship counselling would be way forward. First time round though your a victim second time you know exactly what he's capable of and choose to stay

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