We have DS2 and DS7 and rarely get to go out together as we have no family in this country.
DH is 40, he doesn't go out that often anymore maybe once every two months but about about 50% of the times he gets quite drunk, misses the train home, loses/breaks his phone, falls asleep on the train and then doesn't arrive home until 8am or so. I will have had no contact.
I have no worries that he's been up to anything else as he's a sleepy, messy drunk and he's a state when he comes home.
Last time he did this was a month ago.
When he doesn't go out out and we go for a drink at the neighbours or friends with the kids he's fine mostly but every now and then will get smashed, drink quickly and be the first to be embarrassingly drunk while no one else has even been affected by booze yet.
Christmas Eve was the last time he was like this, his parents were here, all the neighbours had a drink together around 5, he'd been drinking for a while, was really smashed and talking shit to people. We all came home and he fell asleep on the couch missing putting the kids to bed and doing Santa.
He was mortified the next day and apologised and hasn't drank at all with friends/neighbours since.
If I even mention to him that maybe he's had enough he gets really indignant and drinks more.
Anyway, we've been invited to a neighbour's wedding, his parents will be here and have offered to babysit.
I asked him tonight to take it easy on the booze that day. That I wanted us both to enjoy it and I'd rather say it now and look forward to it rather than being on edge on the day wondering if he'll be the drunkest person there.
He's really annoyed I asked him "why can't you just trust me, you're putting a negative spin on it before we even go" now he's saying he'd rather not go if I'm going to be controlling
My dad drank a lot and I don't know if I'm being controlling, I always have half an eye on DH when we're out - I can usually tell if he's decided to get smashed with the first two drinks and then I'm on eggshells.
To avoid that I thought I'd ask him now, as it's not an unreasonable request given his past behaviour?
There have also been a good few nights that have been lovely but only when I relax after realising he's not planning on getting drunk.
He can get quite nasty when drunk.
Am I being codependent and controlling asking him or do you think it was unreasonable?
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Relationships
Aibu about DH and his drinking
DileenODoubts · 10/05/2017 11:40
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