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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Caught him out!!

25 replies

nevis42 · 09/05/2017 19:34

While on holiday, OH laptop played up. Because we were away for a long time, I let him use my tablet and added him to my email account. Anyway to cut it short.......I forgot he'd been using email......till today!! It seems he's been receiving pornographic photos from a couple of women and it appears he's been in touch with them......even sending a photo of me to one of them but he's deleted his sent mail. At the moment, I am actually managing to remain pretty calm......lord knows how😣!! He told me tonight that tomorrow he has to help his mum out (we both took early retirement..... I'm 57 he's 60) and I plan to do a history search on his laptop. I want as much evidence as possible before I let rip!!!! 😣😣😣😣😣

OP posts:

Report

PurpleDaisies · 09/05/2017 19:37

Why would you bother gathering more evidence? What's going to change?

Are you just pretending everything's fine until then?

ThePinkOcelot · 09/05/2017 19:39

He's 60 and still going on like that?
Do you think he is helping his mum or meeting up with someone?
Take photos or screenshots so you have proof.
What w shit.

SweetLuck · 09/05/2017 19:45

Jesus, why on earth would he send one of them a pic of you?

nevis42 · 09/05/2017 19:47

I forwarded the email to myself in case he a delets it. Of course I'm fuming but strangely calm at the same time? Shock I think😥

OP posts:

nevis42 · 09/05/2017 19:50

A few years back, I discovered he was emailing some woman and I blew my top!! We almost split up over it and he swore it would never happen again. I tell you, if I find anything more or pictures he's sent, I won't be here when he gets back tomorrow 😥😥

OP posts:

Bleurghghghgh · 09/05/2017 19:53

OP he's done it again because he 'got away' with it last time. He'll keep doing it.
Keep gathering evidence and speak to a solicitor.

He's a prick.

AnyFucker · 09/05/2017 19:53

I don't understand

You already know he has been sending chat and pictures to OW

Why aren't you already outta there ?

LadyLapsang · 09/05/2017 19:57

Are you married to him? If so, why would you leave? It's your home.

stumblymonkeyreturns · 09/05/2017 19:58

I also don't understand...so two photos/women is okay but if you find a third tomorrow you'll leave?

What's the difference?

user1482079332 · 09/05/2017 19:59

What difference is one more photo to the others?

nevis42 · 09/05/2017 20:00

Your right.....I should be out of here. But for my own piece of mind, I need to know what else has been going on before facing him with it so that he can't say it was some kind of mistake. I'm not in a great place myself right now....family problems......but I tend to hold it in.

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 09/05/2017 20:03

The first time wasn't a mistake. The second time was just two fingers up to you.

ProfessorPickles · 09/05/2017 20:03

I can understand why you'd want to look for more, I'd do the same just so I got a full idea of what he'd been doing however hurtful it could be.

I'd still be leaving because of the first two aswell, what was said about the photo that he sent of you?

LadyLapsang · 09/05/2017 20:06

Unless he is a scriptwriter for some mad soap, how will he explain himself out of that? Again?

Craiconwithit · 09/05/2017 20:06

No need for you to leave. Just have his bags packed on the doorstep for when he gets back.

ProfessorPickles · 09/05/2017 20:11

I also think he should be the one leaving, unless you actually want to leave

ProfessorPickles · 09/05/2017 20:15

Also, are his deleted sent messages still be in the deleted folder/recycle bin? Check!

terrylene · 09/05/2017 20:17

He can go and live with his mother.

nevis42 · 09/05/2017 20:34

I don't know what photo he sent of me. The email said 'seen the pictures of her, so you want me to look like that'? It follows info as a sue (me) jpeg but I can't open it. I just want to be sure in my own mind that I've got this all right.....that there definitely HAS been correspondence. He can be pretty clever and convincing at times which is why I want to be 100%, sure. Your right too.....he can leave!!

OP posts:

PurpleDaisies · 09/05/2017 20:35

I don't understand what will make you more sure that he's been behaving inappropriately here.

nevis42 · 09/05/2017 20:35

I have but all his mail other than dated today has gone!

OP posts:

GeekyWombat · 09/05/2017 20:48

How tech savvy is he? Has he emptied his deleted items?

I'm sorry this is happening to you OP. Agree with previous posters though, if anyone is moving out it should be him.

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whattheactualfudge · 09/05/2017 20:53

Is your tablet an iPad? If so oh can go to your settings and set it to show ALL the emails in the inbox as by default I think it only shows 30 days?

Anyway, I totally get why you're wanting to find out more. You don't have to justify YOUR actions to anyone! On here or in real life. You do whatever you need to do. But please don't give in to the fear of being alone/missing him. Once a cheat - ALWAYS A CHEAT!!!!!

nevis42 · 09/05/2017 21:10

Thank you to everyone. Yes he is pretty tech savvy. But I shall find whatever is on that laptop......I have an android tablet not iPhone....and then will face him. However.....not before I tell you gals what I found😋😋. Feel so let down😑😑

OP posts:

user3459859083590890 · 09/05/2017 21:14

I can't decide if computers are the worst thing that ever happened to relationships or if they are just good at revealing how shitty people can be given the chance. The latter, I think. Stay strong OP - we've got your back!

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