My OH just said to me "least I'm not ugly"

[Scottishgymnast]

Title says it all. He was sort of joking I suppose when he said it. I'm really quite shocked and didn't know what to say so just walked upstairs.

[TheFaerieQueene]

Well isn't he a delight. I would be shocked too. What a wanker.

[Ledkr]

"At least I'm not a massive cunt"would be my response op

[Justmadeperfectflapjacks]

I hope you are up there bagging up his belongings. .

[Bluntness100]

Usually that's in response to being called something what did you call him that prompted him to attack back? 🤔

Was it something like
" darling uou look tired"
"Least I'm not ugly"

Or was it more....

"You're a fat cunt"
"Least I'm not ugly"

[FetchezLaVache]

I don't think rude comments about anybody's personal appearance are ever justified, whether or not they are true (not saying it is!) and whether or not they are in jest. How long have you been with him, what prompted the comment and have there been any other attempts to erode your self-confidence?

[DearMrDilkington]

Depends what was said before he said that..

[FATEdestiny]

Ewww

What were you calling him?

[Scottishgymnast]

Yeah you're right context is important. I wasn't calling him anything though - I can't really remember the conversation as it was something completely normal. I think I was getting him to go and sit at the table whilst the DC finished their dinner so something like "go on help a bit and spend some time with your children, give this desert to the boys whilst I go and bring the washing in"

[Scottishgymnast]

We have been together 15 years. Relationship not great at the moment but what he said is a bit out of character which is why I am shocked.

[FetchezLaVache]

Wow seriously, I thought at least you must have called him fat or questioned his intelligence! Something like that from nowhere is pretty shocking. Will you have chance to talk to him after the kids are in bed?

[FATEdestiny]

OP: "go on help a bit and spend some time with your children, give this desert to the boys whilst I go and bring the washing in"

DH: "least I'm not ugly"

Sounds odd. There must be more going on.

I would certainly challenge him on it. Even in jest, this is not an acceptable thing to say.

[KungFuPandaWorksOut16]

I'm sorry but what you said, you said doesn't make sense. Why would he respond with at least I'm not ugly, because you asked him to do a few thinhd.

[Emboo19]

I'm confused about the context.
Do you think he was implying you're ugly by saying at least he's not?
Or was it more like, at least I'm not ugly, as in I have that going for me.
Not sure I'm explaining it right

[fluentinsarcasm]

Doesn't make sense in that context.
I bet you said something hurtful to him.

[ProseccoBitch]

The context makes no sense. Are you sure that's what happened?

[TheAntiBoop]

With the context it sounds like he was saying 'I'm obviously useless but at least I'm not ugly'

[Scottishgymnast]

He's now gone to walk the dog, when he gets back I'll talk to him. I just think I'm so shocked perhaps I'm not remembering it right.

[FATEdestiny]

I bet you said something hurtful to him

I agree. From the context given so far, i wonder if his fathering skills were called into question.

No more guaranteed way to get a defensive responce than to criticise someone's parenting skills.

Still an awful thing to say. I'd expect an apology. If I'd also said something nasty, it would be a duel apology from both of us.

[TheresARumblyInMyTumbly]

Sorry op, that's bollocks. It doesn't make any sense.

[BathroomOnTheBroom]

Could he have meant 'you may think I'm being a crap dad, but at least I'm not ugly' speaking only for himself, rather than suggesting you are? If that's v out of character?

[MissionItsPossible]

From such a small snapshot of a conversation where there's no hint of a build up it's difficult to reach a conclusion. If his response was to a comment from you like "You snore in bed really loudly sometimes" then he's out of order. If his response was to a comment from you like "You're a pathetic, useless, waste of space good for nothing low life slob who is going nowhere in life" then he isn't.

...Just saw your second post before posting mine. I think I was getting him to go and sit at the table whilst the DC finished their dinner so something like "go on help a bit and spend some time with your children, give this desert to the boys whilst I go and bring the washing in" And then he said "At least I'm not ugly"? That doesn't make sense. Why would anybody say that as a response as you didn't ask a question? Was anything else said between this?

[Bluntness100]

That doesn't make sense.

"Can you sit at the table with the kids whilst I bring the washing in, give them this dessert"

"Least I'm not ugly"

If that was really the conversation I'd be shocked too, as it's weird.

Are you sure it wasn't more

"Sit at the table with your kids and give them dessert whilst I get the washing, you're a right lazy fucker"

"Least I'm not ugly"

"

[Bluntness100]

I'm also not buying that you're just so shocked you can't remember the conversation and what you said less than 30 mins ago, 😂