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Best friend relationship

(6 Posts)
babayjane67 Mon 08-May-17 10:19:52

Can I ask what yr 'best friend' relationships are like please?am looking for some perspective on my own really as it's been getting me down a bit lately.
We've been friends for a long time since we were kids really although she wasn't always very nice to me.that's kids though I guess.
I have 3 kids,2 grown up ones by my first marriage&an 8 yr old in this relationship.
My marriage broke up when my the 2 eldest were quite young so brought them up on my own really.
We spent practically every wkend at my best mates doing different stuff.went on hols together every yr.she has one child same age as my eldest. We used to both have cable phone which was free to ring after 8 in the evening so we used to ring each other every nite& be chatting for ages!
When I changed my phone I hardly ever heard from her only by text now& again enough to still keep going to hers on a wkend.she rarely came here.
Anyway times gone on&things have changed a lot since I've been with my dp the last 10 yrs.we only kept in contact now&again which I heard through the grapevine she wasn't happy about though she never said it to me.
She doesn't see my 8 yr old half as much as she saw my other 2.we go over very occasionally for a dp won't stay but he's happy to drop off&pk up.she still won't come here.if I invite her for a bbq or something here she's always got some excuse not to come.
I had a hysterectomy a yr ago&she never came to see me once!she did msg me a handful of times through my 12 wk recovery to see how I was.she lives half hrs drive away but neither of us drives so we either have to rely on our dps or catch's 2 buses to get from here to there which I did every wkend or sometimes paid for a taxi.took our dog with us too!she still never made the effort to come here!
Fast forward to now&I never really hear from her unless I msg her first or she wants to ask me something specific.she asked me if I wanted to go to a festival with her this summer(she asked others too)& I said yea I wanna go.she said well if not I'm gonna go on my own we are doing that but theres been no contact again since she asked me that which is good month or so ago.I msgd her once&she replied but that's it!I know she spks to other friends all the time every day!
She works full time I work part time.
So does this sound like a normal 'best friend' relationship or is it just me being paranoid?
It's just not the same anymore&I've thought several times about not bothering to msg her sometimes&just let it go as she doesn't seem that bothered!

babayjane67 Mon 08-May-17 15:02:42


babayjane67 Mon 08-May-17 20:30:11


Shewhomustgowithoutname Mon 08-May-17 20:51:19

I had the same best friend for decades. We did not have children who were the same age one of us had lots of children the other had fewer, but it made no difference.
Suddenly I heard no more from her. I tried phone and go to last house. Nothing. Wondered if I had offended her.
She apparently had decided to go start a new life cutting off all family and friends. Still not explained but not much I can do.
Sometimes things end

beachcomber243 Mon 08-May-17 20:55:58

She doesn't sound enthusiastic and it sounds like the friendship is fizzling out. I wouldn't call her a 'best' friend, but rather an old friend.

Friendships run their course and they very often end. Circumstances change, people change.

I've lost friends I've know for 50 years, for 15 years and a 17 year friendship is in trouble now. It happens. Move on.

babayjane67 Tue 09-May-17 17:07:57

Thanks for yr replies.
Yes it is making me feel like that.Ive even thought of selling the festival ticket to be honest.half of me really wants to go& is looking forward to it but the other isn't!
My dp has taken time off to look after our dd&am feeling that money could go towards us doing something nice together.
She's still connected to my eldest dds too&though she doesn't see them a lot still goes out with them sometimes if her neice is going especially.she invited herself&another friend we all know to a wkend away with us all last yr for my eldest birthday which she wasn't very happy about.
I'm glad to know it isn't just me.

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